It is the time that the Winter blues deepens. We tire of restrictions of COVID-19. We are tired of gray skies. We are tired of the cold, the short days and long nights, we are just simply tired: Our body is tired, our mind is tired, the heart is tired and the soul is tired. Sometimes we forget how to deepen every moment within, that we live no matter how the outside environment might suck.
While we are stuck inside, stop, make a cup of something warm and aromatic and consider how much you love yourself. Doesn’t that sound like something we should keep a secret? Doesn’t that almost feel like a sin? Did you understand that, if we love ourselves, we can love others WITHOUT it being a projection of a need of ours? Do we love just to be accepted? Do we ever learn to mother ourselves? Imagine what we would reflect if we truly loved ourselves. Think of the energy…the inner beauty that would shine through… how the ether would be stirred by our love.
While we have the time we have never had before, a time when we can not escape into ‘busy busy…too busy to think…’ we need to see our lives as one of great adventure. My god, we have lived wonderful lives of failures and successes and adventures that no one else has lived… just you have. Think of your shadows. It is the shadows that makes the other things shine more brightly. Consider how your shadows (and know them, acknowledge them, no them and then let them go) make you deeper, more wonderful, more, I don’t know… more a woman of substance.
We are a part of the Divine. No choice, no decision, no struggle… we simply ARE. Somehow, we need to trust that our divinity will guide us, will lead us, will choose the things that will keep us divine. Trust that you do not need to decide how to be divine, we just allow it to shine through us. We do not need to struggle and work and try to force ourselves into some altered divinity… we simply are, we simply need to open up and let it flow through and from us.
We are the answer to some ancestor’s prayers. Let me type that again. Read it slowly.
WE ARE THE ANSWER TO SOME ANCESTOR’S PRAYER.
There is our purpose. Do we know what was prayed for? No! By being authentically ourselves, we are led to that divine purpose. We have to truly know this, right to our bones know this. We have to free ourselves of the clutter of life so that we are not held back from fulfilling that purpose. Allow yourself to be vulnerable to life. That is a scary thought, yes? Live without fear of losing. Our angels and ancestors love us. The see all. They know our all. The know what is tucked in the hearty of our matter. You are loved for who they prayed you to be. You cannot know what it is, as I said. You simply are and they love you for it.
Take a moment to figure out who you are. Live your own life, not the life someone else thinks you should, could, would have. I have maybe 18 years left if I live to the expected shelf-life down here on earth. I have, maybe 18 years to get this right. I am bordering on panic. I need to fulfil my own needs and feel my own feelings, no matter what they are. They are valid and they are mine and I own them. Strip off your masks and be the authentic you.
Repair your wounds, know them, understand them, stop picking at scabs, let them heal, and get on with life that is real. Let your true self emerge. Be genuine. Have genuine feelings and honor them. Be a witness to your own life. Evolve. Crawl from the womb of what life has done to us, how it has conditioned us, and be who you always wanted to be. That is genuine love for self. That is loving the divine within. That is the truth of you!
©Carol Desjarlais 1.22.21
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