There is nothing worse than seeing someone do something abhorrent (pick their nose, spit, continually pull at their thongs) to put one off. But it can also awaken us to some of our own habits that we have not been completely conscious of. I remember someone standing beside me waiting in line and I was rocking and they brought it to my attention. Yes, sometimes people will comment on such. I became aware of how I rock when I am just standing. I am aware that, before I get conscious of it, I whistle softly. I just know, if I lose my mind, I will still rock and still whistle to the annoyance of many. While these are annoying habits, they won’t hurt anyone, but what if we have some habits that are not? Let’s work on the annoying ones and you can find out if you have some you need to kick to the curb.
Nail biting. I used to bite my nails when I was little and did so until the nights were so painfilled because I bit my nails ‘til they bled. Cured me. Then I learned about oral fixations and realize it is why I smoked because I wanted that oral sensation. There is a psychological aspect in that they are finding that babies taken off the breast (Primal Wound, again) and children taken off the bottle too early, and those addicted to soothers (used to call them ‘sugar tits’) could also end up having oral fixations. Not all, of course, but a majority.
One that annoys me is people who are ‘proudly’ known for being late for everything. It is rude. Of course, I am typically obnoxiously early.
Do you swear incessantly? Are you a hair twirler? Are you more interested in your iPhone than who you are with? Do you crack your knuckles? Do you talk with your mouth full or do you interrupt constantly? OMG, are you a cow chewing her cud when you chew gum or are a constant popper? Are you a scab-picker? Do you erase people’s compliments to you by saying things like, “Oh, this old thing”? Do you say, “Let me be blunt.. or, proudly saying, I am always blunt? Quit it… some I have to quit too.
And more…do you lick your lips constantly? Do you talk about others behind their back? Do you tell secrets? Are you defensive all the time? Are you a complainer, critical of others? Do you leave your purse open so things are almost to fall out? Are you a bit of a braggart, a know it all, always in a rush to have your say about a topic someone else is talking about? Are you a fidgetier, a throat clearer? Are you always having to borrow something? Are you a name-dropper, a monopolizer, a one-upper? More for me to check myself on. Oh, and this one is me for sure, are you a finger-tapper?
Then there are things that just are not good for you: Do you hag around negative people. Sapsuckers? Do you hang out with people who do not respect you? Are you a self-criticizer? Do you let fear stop you, often?
There are so many things we do, unconsciously, and it takes a few moments of being present to start to pick them up. Some of that stuff you just need to kick to the curb. I know we have enough rules, but some of these are societal morale that can really be annoying. I am a knee bumper. I will not notice I am doing it until someone says, “Why is this table bouncing”, or “you feel that”?
No guilt, just check ourselves once in a while to see if we have picked up something that could be annoying. Petty stuff aside, people are hyper critical right now. We do not want to put anyone ‘off’ by something that is annoying. I remember realizing that I am uncomfortable when people do not know the social distancing rule that when you are finished talking, you begin to unconsciously turn away or move back away and they follow. That’s almost creepy to me. LOL.
What reward do people get from annoying habits? What reward do I get from rocking, or humming? What is an alternative action to do to get that same reward? Most times it is all about being soothed. It is about some deep need.
What are some things you pick up about yourself? We all have some things. I am trying to break myself of humming and whistling first because I know that has to be annoying.
©Carol Desjarlais 19.1.21
No comments:
Post a Comment