If any of you are mothers who have spent the months in abject fear, trying to hold it in and let pride take over, afraid of phone calls late, afraid of the shivers you get suddenly and think it is an omen… you know… you know what it is like to have a son overseas where people are trying to kill him. And he is your baby. And he is living his dream of being a soldier. And it is your nightmare. And then you hear he has escaped an ambush out in the desert and is safe with friendly country’s army. And he sends you a photo of a 50 pound bolt wound that went up under his helmet…and he sends you a photo of what an electric nail gun has done with a nail that went all the way through his upper instep into the floor… and he sends you a photo of a sign that warns them not to run the track today because there are snipers right now... and he comes home... and he is hurt in ways that will not heal for years... and he has to do one more tour, soon, before he retires. If that... then you get an idea of what it is like to be a soldier’s mom.
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*my son leaving for Afghanistan
I think of my father and his first wife sending five sons too England as RCAF in WW11. I imagine her reading their weekly letters and her nights filled with fear. All five at once, and then the notice one disappeared into the blue ocean... and her grief and enhanced fear until the other four boys came home safe, just before she died of cancer. I think…
I do not hear much about mothers of soldiers, but their courage and bravery is a whole other level. I know the US has blue star and gold star for mothers of wounded soldiers and mothers of lost soldiers, but nothing here in Canada. I think mothers need more honor.
©Carol Desjarlais 11.11.22
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