Sometimes the brain is such a shape-shifter. One minute you are peacefully on your way through your day, the next, there are stormy clouds on the frontline and your mind simply goes into overdrive, lightening, negative, thoughts reign freely…unless we stop them. I refuse to talk with them. I acknowledge them, then get out of Dodge really quickly. I create new thought patterns. All those ‘should haves, would haves, could haves’ simply do no one any good at all. Shape-shifting your thoughts back to something positive is imperative.
When my kids were little and they were crying…I don’t know... maybe because their teeth left a mark in a cookie or a booger would not come off their finger…and, with seven kids in the house... well, you just do not have time for the ewie, gooey, stuff... so, I would say, “Are you bleeding to death?” and the sad reply would be “no!” (sometimes they examined things first.) And the shock value was enough to pacify the cookie, the booger, and the child. I use that same philosophy on Self. Sometimes I talk back to the critical voice within ( my evil inner witch EIW) It usually stops the negative thought patterns in its tracks.
If the thoughts are really adamant, I will stop and consider who, what, where, when, why and how of the old situation that has risen to degrade me. I refuse to make my own drama, chaos and depressing attempt for the EIW to smudge my life with guilt. Life is anxiety-ridden enough without me creating old past ‘stuff’ (and I| label it kindly) trying to invade moments of calm. Oh, and I clean house. Mostly, I consider what is the worst that can have happened, then DIS happen, and how did I cope to get through it. God, we are brave, courageous human beings. I am a brave, courageous, human being. I might limp but I am not broken. Ah, the shape-shifting begins when we pare down the anxiety-ridden thoughts, and we begin to see, what WAS is no longer true, maybe never was.
Shape-shifting our thought patterns takes time, of course. Sometimes you just have to validate that the feelings and thoughts might be true as a statement, but at the moment you become aware of the negativity, you can say, “Wow, I feel sad…guilty…worthless… suddenly can cause our tough woman comes out and we defend ourselves ( making sure the defense is valid.. say... saying to self, “I did what I did when I did it because I did not know any better.” That’s not an excuse, but a truth most times. We simply have to shape our thoughts around the fact that it is okay to feel whatever we are feeling and then take a break and do something that refuels you for the ongoing battle of mind over matter. Then, you can simply lay that burden down and do something that sustains you. You can retrace some steps you made and realize that you overcame that triggered incidence and here you are, brave, strong woman in control of her thoughts for even a few moments. The more moments, the more peace. The more peace, the more you are shape-shifting your thought-processes.
No woulda, coulda, shouldas allowed.
©Carol Desjarlais 20.2.21
***art done with a Jenny Manno challenge – color me full of emotion. Nov Tuesday 24th challenge
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