a fragile bend of the heart -Shelley Blooms
let us meet thereat a fragile bend of the heart
at a threshold of acceptance
where compassion and tenderness
utterly shift the world
utterly lift the world
from confusion to clarity
from darkness to light
from them to us
from us to everyone
let us meet there
at a fragile bend of the heart
where we are limited in all things
but our capacity to love the weakness that will save us
utterly fragile love utterly agile love
all our human venerability’s
merging there, invincible
at a fragile bend of the heart.
We have bought and sold into the ideology that there is no gain without pain. We spend so much time wallowing in the pain that we become the pain; we struggle and delve into our miseries of the past and seem never to kick free of it and rescue ourselves.
We have forgotten to live in the Present. There are things, that can never be changed, from the past; some things we need not try to erase, need not to forget, for sure. It is not the Incident(s). It is the emotion attached to the incident that we can change.
We are NOT that Incident. We are not even That Person the incident(s) that it happened to. If we constantly rerun our past woundings, we become our past woundings – we invite them back again and again and we hurt ourselves with it as if we were the abuser. As I see it, there are a whole lot of sisters living in the past. We are, in our way stuck on the Medicine Wheel of child, youth, adult, elder. We are dragging our childhood around like a raggedy old security blanket. We have not matured beyond the incident very much. (We have all met our sisters with the Cinderella Complex).
We have not kept the best of our childhood, the curiosity, the adventure, the mischievousness, the inquisitiveness. Because of COVID-19, perhaps, we are ever more vulnerable as we were before we learned the world was not safe. We feel insecure in our very homes. We have wrapped our arms around ourselves and are disconnecting from what is wonderous and wild and willing to enter our lives in the most precious of ways.
As I blogged, yesterday, about our Inner child, this, too is about our Inner child. We have forgotten the magic of it all. Our learned behavior of things to fear has grown from fear of falling and fear of loud noises. We now have long lists of negative experiences that we have labeled Fearful. But do we have long lists of positive experiences? Can you name the times that life has taken your breath away in awe?
Life is full of decisions and we get to decide if we want to dream big or dream little. It is up to us if we decide to keep dragging the blanket or whether we want to drape it over our should and be cloaked in wonderful ‘what ifs’. Our soul needs to dance, to bang the drums, to travel, to ask questions, to play, to laugh, to find joy in small things and awe in big things of life. Perhaps we have become too logical and responsible.
Opening ourselves up to possibilities of adventure, of mystery, of joy, keeps life from feeling “blah” and boring and miraculous. I think Science has taken away some of the fantasy in its delving into what was once awe-inspiring and finding logic to everything. Perhaps we are conditioned to not be spontaneous and being too courageous and inquiring in magical ways. It is difficult to see some things as amazing because we know the science behind so much. Funny, you would think that scientific knowledge would take away the fears of generations ago when some things were seen as miracles and mysterious. Perhaps we do not delve into lifer with a sense of wonder because we know too danged much.
We need to open ourselves up into allowing our imagination to run in fields of wonder again. We need to raft on newly thawed ice floes in small bodies of waters. We need to climb trees of creativity to touch clouds shaped like anything we choose to see them as. We need spontaneity of a sudden break into song and dance. We need to share our creative ideas and make snow angels, and walk in the rain without umbrellas. We need to develop our unfettered imagination so that we drop the reasonable way of understanding things. We need to try things and learn for ourselves. We need to sit in patches of green and make castles of tall grass. We need to lie on our back and let the sky tell us stories. We need to bypass that fragile bend of the heart that has been bent over by conditioning that reminds us how vulnerable we are; that fragile bend of the heart where all things are possible, not just logical.
I wish you this, sister-friends. I wish you this.
©Carol Desjarlais 16.2.21
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