“Myself
I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by,
always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I've done.
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one will ever know
the kind of person I really am,
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men's respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know
I'm bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.”
―
The key to positive energy that we put out into the ether, is that we accept who we are rather than cloak ourselves with negative, self-critical, energy. (Negative energy can affect our immune system.) Self-image can affect all our relationships. We criticize ourselves and then look for someone else to blame for our negative energy. Being compassionate with ourselves is key. Being as compassionate with self as we are with family, friends, and acquaintances, who we realize are not perfect, is also key. Not to do so means we can become judgmental, critical of others, have broken relationships, and evoke drama around the fact that we do not like ourselves so we really do not like others. It is up to us to take charge of self and make the best of our beautiful flawed self. No one can make you feel anything that you do not want to feel. Loving even our flaws, embracing our shadow side, accepting those things about self is key to our ultimate happiness. Who we are, right now, this very moment, is who we are.
Before we are eight years old, we relied on the acceptance of others given through messages, through language, through attitude, through given sense of belonging. We learned, in those first years of childhood, what was acceptable and if adults around us gave us the message that we were, in some way, inadequate or were errant, then that sense of self could stick with us. Many of us learned we were acceptable “if……” and we turned that into a foundation of how we would feel about ourselves until we realize that we are critical with ourselves because we are still trying to please others. At some point, we mature, we get over our “past” and seek personal fulfilment (happiness) by complete self-acceptance (give ourselves ‘permission’ to love ourselves, warts and all).
Our level of happiness equates to our level of self-acceptance. That is huge. Loving ourselves has to come before self-acceptance and then happiness ensues. It is our choice.
©Carol Desjarlais 3.22.23
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