As we work on a painting, we hurry through getting the background done so we can get into the main object on the canvas. At least, I do. We paint within imaginary lines and hope to color between the lines. We, then, turn all our attention to the, in my case, portrait. How often do we see the character and forget about the past, the background? Have we done that with our own lives. Just that we are here, and now, at this moment, is a miracle, knowing our past and the lessons we learned, or relearned, or forgot. What goes on in the background sets off the character we have just painted. Same with life. There is so much richness and depth to who we are today because of that background we have. We ought to be truly admiring ourself. Look who we have become because of our background. It gives our life so much more meaning.
Consider a mountain scene. All those rugged sharp edges, those shadows, those slumps of humps. There are paths in that forest below the raw edges. There are detours we made as we wandered that vista. But, we gave it our best go, didn’t we! We hiked on when we could barely lift a foot. We stopped in the shade of some trees because life just got too hot. Lord, we are remarkable, we are! No one can love you and your journey more that you can because you know every heart-stopping moment, every high and every low of that journey.
To be truly happy, you have to love your journey. Loving your journey means you have every right, in every way, to love yourself for making it through. Self-confidence shows from the inside out. No matter how perfect your make-up, your hair, your clothes, if you do not believe in yourself, it makes that all look even more fake.
Sometimes, it is easy to have self-esteem. Other times, we may definitely not. It is all a matter of choosing the negative or positive outlook. Those who complain about being isolated, lonely, unhappy, will exacerbate and rebel relationship difficulties and the feelings will be compounded. Happiness does not just fall in your lap. You earn it. You chase it. If you are sitting, stagnant, in your life, and there is no physical reason, you do not have self-esteem. People who admire themselves, get out there and share themselves with the world, however they can.
Stop complaining, comparing, looking for excuses that sound valid to you, and gather up your misery and make it well and get out there. The world has need of you. You were created for a reason. We do not know the reason, maybe never will. But, there is a purpose. I remember the elder in a Native American Educators’ conference saying, “You are the answer to an ancient ancestor’s prayers.” If we think like that, we know we are worthy of our own esteem. Get out there and let’s us all do admirable things.
©Carol Desjarlais 19.11.20
***inspired by Christy Sobolewski
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