The feminine warrior spirit energy is most likely the most powerful of all the Feminine energies. Sometimes the warrior energy within is a giver, sometimes a taker. I know I have been against masculine energy many times in my life, sometimes our warrior energy is in defense of others and our protective feminine energy comes out. We can be nightmares or nurturers when this energy is abound.
We carry masculine energy within us as well. Some of us need to balance our lives by accepting the fact and knowing when and how to use it. Our sacred masculine energy has been nearly been conditioned out of some of us. Thus we have had our analytical system features have been nearly extinguished as well. We are such multi-taskers and get lost in our multiple listing and can easily become overwhelmed. This is when we have denied our masculine energy and moved too far into feminine energy. We all have a dominate energy and we are either more thoughtful, a more reasoning being, more strength than is truly balanced, and more apt to overthink than simply act. Or, we are more emotionally charged and our thoughts and actions are more nurturing, more receptive. We have been conditioned to deny the masculine that would keep physical, intellectual, emotional and even spiritual, in harmonic balance. It is also important to note that we have, within, wounded aspects of the masculine and feminine energies. Our woundedness, of both energies, comes from, and resides, in our Ego, It is a dark and deary, and even dangerous place of fear and darkness and pain. I believe, those of us conditioned to avoid and deny our masculine energies, are in the most pain, betimes. We have to learn to heal both energies that have been wounded in some way. Learning the different energies and their identities within, can help us know both energies, and know the depths of strength that balancing both energies, within, can initiate. For now, let us begin with knowing the feminine energy and the warrior spirit, better.
Energies are in constant flux. We either radiate and come from a place of feminine energy, or we suffer the loss of balance with the masculine energy within. We either rise to challenges of change or we do battle over such and then feel feminine guilt at having moved into the masculine energy in a wounded way. For my generation, this is huge. We were taught and conditioned to believe expressing your masculine side was not ‘proper’. In fact, we were taught that the warrior energy was not proper. We were conditioned to believe that we should be vulnerable, forgiving, surrendering, was proper for us. (Of course, our brothers were conditioned in the opposite way.) We all evolve and as we evolve, we can flap through life like we were riding in a vehicle with a flat in one of our tires, or, we sail smoothly (there are darn few of us, females, who have ridden smoothly.) When our energies are out of balance, we attract those who would control, abuse, betray us for we are seeking masculine energy from outside ourselves, rather than developing the masculine within. And then the battle comes from our wounded masculine or we sink into the despair of the wounded feminine.
When I finally used my masculine energy is when I left the kid’s dad and a nineteen-year marriage that was abusive. (We were both guilty, of course, for one does not take it without fighting back). It took decisive action, a strong commitment, an unwavering belief that leaving was the right thing to do and set in motion the steps to be taken to never return. In a way, one turns off the conditioning and the gift of the masculine helped me walk through fire to get to freedom. I used my masculine energy to see me through and went through a period of feminine militancy, in a way, as I railed against masculine energy of any kind. I sort of flung off into the militancy of a woman who found her power and then used it to rail against what I had been through to leave in the first place. It took about a year for me to find a balance again. I know that now. But, during it all, I was simply moved to be free, to be safe, and to make sure I got my kids. I did and it meant that I had to really be nurturing and compassionate with my children I was now single parenting. It meant a long of swings and sways of energies. The unhealthy/wounded feminine energy and wounded/unhealthy masculine energies fought and fed each other. Finding balance was really difficult. It meant I had to become aware of unhealthy/wounded energies within. It helped heal me.
Divine Warrior energy is all about life and birth, and death and destruction, in most of our lives. Our ability to be life-giver and life-preserver and destroyer is our absolute power. It is what frightens most brothers about us for many of them have not balance their own masculine and feminine energies. It is when our brothers use their physical strength to try to dominate us, and this is age old, and is a huge part of patriarchal cultures we still live in.
If you think back on your life, you will recognize the feminine warrior energy within. You will know the times that your masculine warrior energy has shown up. Actually, becoming aware of this, acknowledging it, you begin to heal your woundedness in both and how it expressed itself. As well, this begins to balance the feminine warrior energies with the masculine and, in balance, turn the negative to the positive.
©Carol Desjarlais 13.11.20
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