We can only dance with dragonflies on
soft evenings. What once worked for us,
no longer does. Every event, every
thought, every stimuli is different because we are not who we were a moment
ago. Living a perfect life is not
possible. Why did we believe such? We pursued peace and happiness as if it were
some godly thing. It was impossible,
always was, always will be. The only
thing we can control is how we perceive what happens to us and then act/react
to that as if it were the best it could get at the moment.
Sometimes we fixate on what is NOT
rather than what IS. That is a recipe
for misery. And misery is sinking to the
lwoest denomination of what anything could, would be. We love regrets, apparently. We roll in them like a mud bath and end up,
of course, muddied. We hunger for things
we think others have and we do not. We
forget that what is for others is what is supposed to be and we are where we
are supposed to be. Why do we always
seek what we do not have? We lose
perspective of gratitude for where and what and when we are in the hands of
fate/destiny, maybe even karma.
I think most of my problems come
from EXPECTING things rather than sinking in to what is and making the best of
it.
I hope you find a way to realize we
can only control ourselves in the place, with the things and people who are
supposed to be there at that moment.
Seeking simple pleasures and being grateful is imperative. Here we are and we are here.
Sometimes a simple page says it
all. I began by doing a background with
leftover watercolors. Then I drew basic
shapes; a triangle for a dress, a
rectangle for sleeves, simple shape for hair.
I added a cut-out of flowers to place randomly. I added a chrysalis in her hand and then
found some cut-out dragonflies to put here and there (3, of course). I penciled in eyes, nose and mouth...
simple... but it says what I wanted it
to say. A dragonfly flies from a world
shape/chrysalis, of sorts. The angle of the right arm shows my
stubbornness to accept it (hand on hip)...but, of course, it wins.
We can say much with simply
shapes. Give some simple shapes a go.
©Carol Desjarlais 2.6.20
Great writing but I got lost. As seeing change with those I love .is it my age? Am I just seeing change now? Knowing only myself the dips are many. Unclear of the present and the future. where oh where ,is the peace expected in my senior years.?I have NO motivation, one day is the same as the next. Grateful for what? another lesson? when does one truly find peace?
ReplyDeleteperhaps we need to redefine peace? We are where we chose/choose to be. Our reluctance to change makes us miserable, I know that, but I still have to rant, rummage and ruminate on how I might perceive it as unfair. It is. We are..
ReplyDeleteDang I had this wrote out. Ok now again.
ReplyDeleteNot being a victim as my choices were mine, the grandeous ideas of being alone were all mine . I think loneliness and depression are a bad combination, creating smoking mirrors. Or as my mom used to say "Your a fart in a collender looking for a hole to get out" I think she was right. My future is as clear as mud, maybe that is a good thing.
lol, great analogy... Yes, if we rely on others to give us peace or answers, we will remain confused. I am thoughtfully, slowly, making decisions here, deciding what to let go of and what to keep, and it all affects my future. I am not going to jump into the pot thinking it will keep me safe and warm, to be sure. I have to allow that destiny is greater than my human frailty in decision making. I have to decide, sadly, how much misery/unhappiness/restlessness I am willing to accept, now that I am here and trying to sort things out. I would rather be alone but alone is not financially a win win. I will get it sorted, just not jumping this time. I can no longer jump and then try to figure out how to get out of it..that frying pan..lol
DeleteIs so tiring making these decisions . Damn it I am tired. I have no issue with money, there are things I do without but not important at the moment , I go nowhere , and gas is cheap here, only pay a portion of my drugs. It is doable .the alone part is a killer, I have no motivation. It has gone off somewhere. No there is no solution in finding peace if not done by ones self. There are going to be many changes "when" I go back. All of them will be mine cause as we know. the others won't change. I have little faith of that. No changing of things on a whim. A lot smarter now. These agreements made are just pieces of paper, worthless. As is a marriage license really. but was his way of showing me his feelings. A date will be set there will be another name on the deed , done by my lawyer. If not all is null and void. No prenump as it a farce. Do I lay awake thinking of this crap..?? oh hell ya. My money is mine I damned earned it. bla bla bla . Thanks for letting me share , I have missed you muchly.
DeleteYes, once the decision is made, it is made and we live with our decisions one way or the other. Yes, there is never any safety...can unsign in a minute.... but, neither will I give in to too much nor live in fear that upsetting the apple cart could send me off in a cart...if you get my meaning... Out or even the inclination of out means I am out...same for any of us.. we can not let that hush us up, though..
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