A Wreck and a Revival

Some of us look back at childhood and see flaws and faults.  Some look back at childhood forgetting that they were human and had human frailties.  Some look back at youth and they fanaticize the romance, the adventure, the joy, and act oike they cannot have joy now because they cannot have what they choose to dream about the before-life.  We think the grass was greener 'back then', when, in reality, we were evolving and had many lessons to learn and things were not all better than our today.  As we age, we need to keep focused on what we can fill our lives with that still bring us joy and adventure and romance, etc.   Living with fantasy, of course, reduces our 'happy ever after' to a time and place long gone.  Either we get going on happiness and joy or we slump into the nothingness of other than an aging body, mind, heart and soul.  Do we get addicted to sadness, loss, feelings of hopelessness, and focus on those things rather than truly living each day we have left?

There is no one who has lived as long as we have (well, me, because I am in my 70s) and come through it unscathed.  We have to simply get on with getting on and find ways to still set goals and take action on them every day.  There will always be decisions, choices, lessons to be learned and moments of awe to experience. 
We can still dream big and with more reality to it.  Yes, we have to make concessions, but every other 70 year old is doing the same with the same years.  Yes, some are having it easier, we think, than others, but we do not know what they are really going through.  Some days it is energy to simply dream up something to overcome something with.  We were made to always want more.

Some days I simply need to give myself credit for getting out of my jammies and getting dressed.  Some of us have to work hard to shut the heck out of our Evil Inner Witch/Ego/critical self.  Considering that our thoughts drive our actions, I really work hard to find something, somewhere, somehow, that keeps me moving forward.  I have to figure out how to interact with life, with the life I have, with the life I know is yet to be lived, and not being depressed over what I cannot do, cannot have, cannot even dream of.  But, finding ways to make a miracle out of a wreck has oft times been my life, so this is yet another mystery to solve.

I know that sitting and arting for a couple of hours in the morning is a huge positive thing for me.  It is then, I think about things.  It is there that this daily blog forms itself within the strokes and marks and washes of my art journal pages.  It forms the base of the rest of the day.  It is like having a bit of inspiration, and sometimes epiphany happens and it makes the day easier to get through.  it is sad that some days are a challenge, some things I want to do , is a challenge.  But, nonetheless, this morning practice is what keeps me going in pretty much every aspect of my life and interaction within that.

Yes, our bodies are showing signs of being wrecked, of being in a wreck time and times again, and life gets more difficult while simplicity becomes a necessity.  Does that mean we have to be miserable?  No!  A resounding no!  We need to pick ourselves up, fix the dents, love the broken, and get on with being someone others would even like to be around.

I learned a great lesson from my friend here.  Every once in a while, probably once a month, she calls and cancels out on something we were going to do with, "I am not in the right kind of mood to even be around people today".  She actually says it.  Whereas, I am one to probably go out and drag my miserable along with me and wrecking any fun we might have.  We laugh a great deal over what makes us bitchy, miserable, sad, miserable.  We are alike in many ways but different in that she actually says it out loud and it has become a humorous thing a day or two later.  I need to learn that lesson from her.  I have wrecked things and had to make nice again because I chose not to acknowledge and honor my authentic feelings thinking I would eek by.

 

I began with much hope and then ripped the doilies trying to pry them off the background.  

Some stayed glued, some end up being peeled off.

And so, I began again...

Collaging a background and giving it a white wash allowed for a more peaceful background.

Being a mixed media artist means I can use whatever lands in my hand and I love experimenting with products.

 


Using the felt watercolor pens truly is a passion of mine right now, as well.  It does the shapes and then can be watered down.

I found this head shape in an old magazine...using it.. fits great.



 

The background needs more to tell the story.  I roll a small brush in paint, then roll it down and across the painting to get branches.  Have a nice bird silhouette sheet and added the birds.

 Yes, we can fix things, pretty much any thing, one way or another..even our actions and our reactions...perhaps eating some crow along the way, but doing our best.

©Carol Desjarlais 2.19.20