What to Do With A Blank Canvas

 

 

And here I sit, 4 am and a blank canvas staring at me.  If this were a painting of my life there would be colors, marks, shapes, and a wide array of weird characters (think Deb Weir’s primitive art). Oh, yes, and there would be lots of dark spots clustered all together, but the edges of these would blend into a totally new set of scribbles and bright colors.   The underpainting, full of anxiety and mismatched hues, would be covered over, but still there if you peer deeply enough into the painting.

Someone once said that my faces were all sad, intimating that I should be doing happy happyallthetime…sickening like syrup sweet all the time.  There was I use telling her that intuitive drawings and paintings are when an artist allows intuition to take over and the painting or drawing draws itself and comes into being almost magically and without effort.  My portraits very much reflects my inner emotional state.  And, perhaps the person seeing a pensive portrait does not know the many fractured faces of emotions. 

In art journaling, there must be authenticity or what is the use of all the work.  ‘Arting” is my prayer, my mediation, my place of ‘healing thinking’, and my place and space of peace.  Some of my best work are pieces that came fast and furiously on to the substrate and were finished in a, seemingly, blink of the eye.  When I do not think or overthink, an art project, it turns out way better.  When I let Ego take over, the piece will never satisfy.  The less control, for me, the better. 

So, in the end, all my creative endeavors start out with a picture in my head and I warm up the page and then have at it.  Some of my best work has been crazy colored pieces.  My whimsical art work is better than my more realistic ones.  I have been at this for years and years and still I can end up with a piece that looks like I only began.  What works best for me is to remember the mathematics of a face and once I have that down in my head, it becomes muscle memory, I think, that takes over.  I learned, early on, that I am working on paper, or cardboard, or canvas and none of it is ‘precious”.  It can be gesso’d over.  It can be covered over with paint.  It can be covered over with collage.  But, another important thing:  Do not make a snap judgement about an art piece.  Some of what I thought were the worst, sell the first in an art show.  Time and time again, people will say they love such and such a piece and I look at it and think, “they just do not know… that is one ugly- azzed art piece and I do not know why I even brought it. It is best to let things sit for a time and come back to it, maybe even weeks later and either what bothers you about it no longer does, or you have a new fresh look at the work and know what it needs.

I had been seeking ‘my voice’ for some time.  Then, an art teacher said, “I would have known your work anywhere.”  I looked at what she was looking at and could not for the life of me see resemblances to my work that might have been my ‘voice’.  Since then, I do not worry about it.  I refuse to compare my art to anyone else’s.  Each new canvas is bursting with potential, just like mornings, for me.  At last I start out with good intentions.  My art work belongs to my soul and each art piece I do is a bit of my soul I am sharing.

 It is holy, after all. 

©Carol Desjarlais 3.3.22 

 I love to do this kind of portrait where the hair sweeps up off the canvas.

 

She starts out the same as most other paitnings.  A quick sketch,

This time, I use a black pilot multiball, to trace over the drawn lines.

 

I choose my palette.  I spacve out puddles of the color on a sheet of deli paper.  I leave space for mixing to get other colors...making sure not to get mud.

I use matt meium to seal the drawing.  If your tracing pen is ativatd weith water, it can get to be a real mess.  paint over the penned-in lins, using a small brush.

I begin putting in the shadow areas of the face, hair and neck. 

I then put in my mid-tones.

I put in her hair as that drives me to that sacred space where art becomes mediation prayer, and healing thoughts.

When the use takes over, I disappear.  It is as if I channel but no one is there so I turn to my iner Muse.  I forget about taking pictures and simply press on until I am done.