It is man’s nature to impose order on chaos. Thus, when our thoughts start whizzing through our heads (usually at night), we can be embroiled in our imagined chaos, or what we thought ws memories that erupt into our might and cause us to sleep, to dream, chaos. What it is best to do is to know and understand that memories are falsehoods in many ways. Every time we remember an incident, say, we add a bit more depth to that memory until what you ar thinking belongs in the game “murder” where you whisper something in one person’s ear and they whisper in the ear of the next, until it comes full circle. When that end person says what was whispered, it has transformed into something else, sometimes, totally changed. Memories are like that.
You know how your critical inner voice yammers on about something? And, do you understand that it is Ego speaking, (or your Evil Inner witch). You know how it natters on about how what you are doing is crap; that you should or should not, have done such and such; how unworthy you are; how sinful; how dumb; how…. Yadda yadda yadda. Well, when a memory comes up with some perceived negative, and you allow it residence for even a moment, that memory is changed. Each time you re-remember, something is added to the memory until it is no longer true, if it ever was at all. Sometimes we enjoy being criticized, being told (albeit a pretentious critical voice that does not work in truths) we do not matter, that we are, and never were, enough. We are barraged with thoughts in our ‘awake time’. We have things that distract us from that memory so it does not last long and it is like being intruded upon while you are speaking and then you forget what you we saying. Parts of the memory are dropped and the truth is whittled down or even changed.
Every time we slip into remembering, or re-remembering, we are not living in the Present. We are not living our truths because we are so busy living in our Past. We are busy, then, of fictionalizing what really happened, according to Ego who has everything to gain in our running ourselves down. Ego wants us to acknowledge that memory, learn from it, and then it will stop repeating itself over and over and over. It wants us to remember the crux of the matter and never let it happen again.
Once, the ego kept us alive, when we were newly made beings and we needed to survive. It thinks it is still caveman times and we have made some kind of error that must be resolved so that we do not put ourselves, or our tribe, in danger. Simply put, it wasn’t resolution. We think we can not go back and change things. Right, we cannot, but we can change our reaction to an incident, once we understand the lesson to be learned. Ego is a merciless child who wants our attention. What do you do to/for an attention-getting child? You take a moment and give them that attention so they think you have solved the problem.
We have to remember that we are NOT OUR MEMORIES. We have an ever-changing brain, we need to ditch our subconscious thoughts by accepting the lesson to be derived and then letting it go. We can confront our own ego. We can ask it why it is punishing us, causing us loss of sleep, playing reruns through our night. Accept that you made a mistake, that we are flawed beings, and that you are no longer that person that made that mistake. Talk to it like it WERE a child. Then let it go play somewhere else. Accepting the memory as fact and allowing it to hurt you is a choice… your choice. We forget we are able to make new choices, new failures, new things that cause us to stumble and pack a memory into the far recesses of the Ego library of memories. When your mind starts digging for things to think about, as soon as you lay your head down to sleep, it always finds its gold. Of course we make errors, we have to experience things to know things, and sometimes those things are about failure and then we pack it away and that is another failure, and so we are….. you know how the mind works. You cannot kill off your Ego. It is part of our main wiring. But, we can figure ut wht it is reakly trying ti tell us, awknoledge it, stay in control of your own actions and reactions, let it all go. Be brave. Be your beautiful wonderful self that is in the Present, not lugging around baggage from your past. With al that baggage, you can not dance with joy. Those memories have changed each time you remember them. Dis-member it all. Accept that an incident happened, and use the wisdom you gain from that acceptance to be braver for your future. Be brave enough to make mistakes in that future of yours. Every one of us will. Don’t let your ego keep you living in the past. There is only chaos in allowing it to take over. You are master of your own ship, remember? Row like you are outrunning a whale, with no encumbrances, Brave on!
©Carol Desjarlais 3.2.22
Reference: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-false-memory-2795193
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