“It takes courage to grow up and become
who you really are.”
―
E.E. Cummings
Some days, life simply feels unfair. One thing after another goes wrong. It is a day you would rather forget, erase, deny, stuff, anything but contemplate. But just when you are ignoring it, it comes at you full force and then there are the tears. I have to tell you that I do not cry. I cannot cry. I have to watch a really sad movie in order for tears to spool in y eyes and run down my cheeks. But, pity myself? Never! It takes something really, really, traumatic for me to crawled off into the forest, into isolation, and cry. And, it feels so false, because, as I said, I am not a crier. Sometimes, I have wished I could. Perhaps I do not cry because, and I have thought many times, if I got started, I might never quit. We were taught not to cry. To be a happy girl. To wipe that look off our faces. We were taught to deny a major part of our feelings. We were conditioned not to have a full range of feelings.
If we deny feelings of any kind, we become non-authentic. Crying was meant to be cathartic. If we do not cry, we have no way to express, at a cellular level, what we need. Just be positive has been stamped on our very souls. Our culture does not value tears. We are to be in the pursuit of happiness… and if we are not, we are labeled, we are chastised, even as adults we are told, in many ways, and many mediums, to cheer up. Not only do we not deal with our own tears, we cannot deal with anyone else’s either. We are emotional cripples. We become stuffers. We become brooders. We are coping in all the unhealthy ways.
We need to develop emotional strength. Life is never going to be easy. There will be easier times, but not easy. Don’t expect people to always be kind and have your best interests at heart. We are human beings. We are all trying to cope by stuffing, brooding and unwilling to have difficult conversations, unwilling to work on our shadows so our light can shine through.
Our light is that which
shines through us, from us, that emits peace and calm and maturity. You can tell an emotionally mature
person. They do not get flustered
easily. They do not get overly emotional
beyond a said situation requires. They
tend to manage their lives in all areas.
They are resilient. They are capable,
trustworthy, compassionate, and do not carry other people’s burdens. They re fair and non-judgmental. They have no hidden agendas. They are not needy. They are not a burden to be around. They are neither too happy or too sad. They can get stressed but they deal with it
on their own. They know life can be
uncomfortable and they do their best to be prepared for those days. They have been tried and tested, have survived,
overcome and thrived. There is a sense
of peace around them. There is a sense of "It is what it is" about them.
https://www.verywellmind.com/emotional-resilience-is-a-trait-you-can-develop-3145235
©Carol Desjarlais 3.25.22
The oortrait for today is one I do not ncessarily like. I know better than to show teeth. I may have to fix those teeth later.
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