The elders say we were brought here, to this beautiful Mother Earth, to take care of Mother Earth and to take care of each other. Why do we not? How did we lose track of how much we are a part of the Divine, and what was truly important? Love one another, that should be simple, but it is not because we have forgotten who we are. We can blame others, and other things, for why we do not honor ourselves as part of divinity. But, as adults, you have to know that no one can make us feel anything we do not choose to. We can choose to love our Divinity or we can choose to think Creator made garbage. If we think badly of Self, we can not know how to honor the divine in others and other things.
Oh, but you say that someone is bullying you, is getting satisfaction out of prodding and prying at you until you react (negatively). Hurt people hurt people. Are you a hurt person that strikes out, that reacts, out of your own woundecdness. Surely it is time to own your own esteem and set good boundaries so that you can be the worthy soul you were meant to be.
Some people are simply drama queens, not divine beings having an earthly experience. They become so worldly and so self-focused that they live to hurt others so they feel as badly as they do. What does it take to walk away from it?
I think what I have to do, not saying it will work for anyone, but I am working really hard to be at peace with myself so that anything outside does not full-scale wham me. I try to walk away from any chaos or chaos-makers. I have learned to say “NO!” since I have been 'a pleaser' all my life. There are always those out there who may be passive aggressive in their relationship with you and they know your triggers and will use them in spite of themselves and what was a friendship. Learned this one the very hard way last year and man that smarted, but I refused to defend myself. It empowered me. I was proud of myself. I let that friendship just simply go away. Protecting yourself is way more important than defending yourself. Peace comes from not feeling like you need to defend yourself.
I have stopped talking to those who spend every conversation about how miserable they are and expecting you to ‘fix’ them. You can’t. They have to do it on their own and own their own decision. They will not change if you own their decision. You get blamed.
When you find that you are running up against difficult people, check that you are not a difficult person too. Cycles happen over and over until you break them. Be grateful for their lesson for you and take that lesson and simply fade off into their distance.
Stop judging, evaluating, analyzing old stuff or new ‘stuff’ that shows up while you are trying to change into your peaceful self. Do things that bring you joy. Do things that build your sense of self and your confidence in standing up for self in a whole new way. Try walking away. Do not be sucked into confrontation or into others difficult-ness.
And, boundary setting is imperative. I know that I really suck at keeping my own promises to myself. I have had to really learn how to deal with criticism – “thank you, very much. I will take that into consideration” and then walk away to do it. Those who demand you stay and deal with it, are not your friend, they are your bully-instigator of their push for power over you. Now, that thought makes my bile rise. I so fight to not let others persuade me into believing they know better for me, about me, when I haven’t asked for any feedback. Pick your battles. Let no one disrupt your peace.
Of course, we cannot be all mememememe. I am not implying that at all. It means that you reach out to those who nurture you, who feed your sense of esteem, who you find peace with. Be with those who can laugh WITH you over your fumbles and mumbles. Be with those who are kind to you and give you genuine compliments to encourage and motivate you whether they mean to or not. They are not trying to fix you. They are trying to keep you plodding away towards peace of mind.
As you find your gentler, more peaceful, joyful, happy place, hold space for others who need your love and kindness and support. By reaching out to those who honor and respect you, the more you will love and respect yourself and the strong you become on your walk to peace.
You are divine. You are the daughter of creation. You are a co-creator with Creator. Imagine that! How precious are we! You already own your self-esteem. Now walk the walk and talk the talk. Be that! Be less ego-driven and more soulfully driven. Your very soul is attached to your sense of esteem. Esteem yourself! Xoxoxo
©Carol Desjarlais 6.10.21
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