Surviving, Overcoming, Thriving

 

 

 

Here we are, still surviving, still overcoming, still thriving. 

With the new antivirus medication, I am more hopeful about next year.  But I have heard that some of us will wait until September of 20321 to get the shots.  And… a new variant of the virus is right next door in the city here.  We are hearing it transfers more rapidly, the outcome of having it no worse than the other, but still deadly.  It is hitting too close to home.  I have to keep plugging along with what I do that nurtures Self.  I am looking forward to a change of seasons.  I am looking forward to new adventures in arts and crafts to do as the winter wears along.  I have rock hunting to do with the club.  And, I have rocks to make cabs of at the shop during the winter so I can book a day to go in.  I just need to keep going.  I am not a sits-still-woman. 

There is no end to things I can do, plan to do, things about myself to change.  I can sell my art on serendipity Virtual Market until April, so that keeps me busy doing and labeling and posting and keeping track of. 

I am learning to allow myself to just do nothing if I choose.  I have nowhere to be, no-one to meet, nothing scheduled, so I can do it tomorrow if I wish.  I make myself chai in the middle of the day, if I want. 

As I have said, I have moose tufting to do when I catch up on commissions and things I have started and need to be finished, then I can play.  I bought a wood burner and hard plastic to make myself my own stencils.  That is something new I picked up last trip to the city.  I always have a portrait in my head that wants doing.  I am impatiently waiting for my crystal pen and inks to show up so I can give my hand at trying to do some dip pen work.  I am NOT making resolutions, as I have said, I am settling for a few intentions.

For this one night, I allow myself sweet dreams of past New Years and a soulmate who awaits me.  So many sweet sweet memories.  There are others I have lost this year.  I feel some nostalgia about their loss in my life, my immediate family.  None can take their place and none should.   Two nephews, a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law this year.  We have another, the dearest of all, waiting in the wings of vascular dimension, and we feel her leaving every day.  Tonight is a good night to honor them and how they were meant to be in my life and I in theirs.  Choice memories… some longing, and yearning, yes, but soon enough…soon enough.

There will be no fireworks, no snap toys, no whoo hoo and ya hoos, there will be no partying or drinking or eating anything special for this last night of the year.  There will be a quiet release of breath that we made it so far. 

©Carol Desjarlais 31.12.21

**art, of course, inspired by Willowing