Artempowerment: It IS What It IS

True power is in the hands of the one who thrives in the positive, after having known and conquered the negative. - C. JoyBell C.

I have come to know that I control how every morning is going to start. I have habits. I can either have positive thinking habits or negative thinking habits. I work hard to stay positive.

My gazebo got weighed down before we could shovel to get out underneath and turn on the heater and try to use the brush side of a broom to push snow off the top. It is hard to do because you lift your arms and crank your neck upwards and push every inch of the top. We were going to do it for the second time, this year, the next morning…. It rained… and by morning, this is what faced me first thing in the morning.

I went out, in the morning, and immediately shut myself off from feeling anything about it. I was heartbroken, disappointed, mad, all the things one would feel when a beloved space is destroyed. It is not disassociation, but merely not allowing it to ruin my day. It will solve itself, or not. It is what it is. It does not help that, every time I go outside, I am faced with this. Each time I do, I simply say, “It is what it is…it will solve itself.” Being positive is a huge deal.

As well, I have been without a working stove for months. One small burner works only on high. One of the large burners only lights one ring. The oven burns anything in the back. I drew in my breath and got through Christmas with an electric roaster, the instapot, the slow cooker, the airfryer, the microwave. It worked. Christmas meals were awesome. It could have ruined Christmas and the joy of having company for Christmas. I refused to let it. I do not give up my positivity easily.

I, also, do not give up easily when serious things happen. Life is hard down here on earth. I give up the idea I can control everything. When there is a detour in life, I find a way around it, or choose not to go there t all.

As I age, I am realizing that other people’s negativity is something I have to shun. Especially if it is criticism of me because others think they need to correct me from being me. It is not that I do not need correcting, it is that some people continually attempt to place their burden on me and I can not longer barely carry my own so I cannot add theirs to it all. I examine myself, acknowledge, note if/that I am working on it, and then simply go my way and change it or not. I can not be limited to what others think I need to work on, if I am already working on it. They can’t know. And, sometimes others, in my life, might discourage me but I keep that to myself. It is not my business to try to interject my thoughts on others that God is not finished with yet. I love them and love them well, or not. But it is my feelings not theirs and I do not know their struggles deeply enough to have answers for them.

I try to send out positive encouragement to others because, once, I did not believe in God at all. I aw him as a real monster. He was going to get me, or others, whether we deserved it or not. (You know, cut down the wheat with the chaff ideology.) Sometimes I encouraged others in ways I needed encouragement. That is my way, still, although I have given up the' blame god' game. It is what it is.

I stopped trying to explain myself. That others accept my shadow side as well as my light, is entirely up to them. That was a hard lesson to learn a year or so ago. I could have defended myself until the second coming and it would not have made anything more than mud. Even those we love dearly will choose to believe what they choose to believe. The signs were there. I did not pay attention to them. It is not good to always think The Best of others to the point that we have blinders on. It is what it is.

I am responsible for accepting my shadow side, working on it, and not allowing anything or anyone to make me shy away from my work, which will aways be my work as long as I live. If I can keep positive, learn the lessons, and move onward, that is the important thing.

Layer upon layer, I do this painting.