There is trouble in the whole Universe; the pandemic; the shattering of common sense, the attempt to pit one against another; the impending sun storm about to hit the earth; global warming fires, floods, storms of every kind…it does not end and something new crops up every day…something to fear…or not. We cannot escape things to fear. What we have to get good at is learning how to transform to meet new fears in effective and powerful ways. Women are powerful. We can transform ourselves and the world. Don’t even think we can’t.
We are capable of making intellectual choices and reactions. We are capable of bring the world to its knees or bring it peace. We are capable (we have proved it to ourselves) to get ‘through’ things we never thought we could. Here we are! We can do it!
Think about what you have been through in your life, in the world, in our world. We were empowered when we got through things. When we feel empowered that feeling can not just go away. When I think of my graduation day at the U of L, I get that empowered feeling. When I think about troubles with my babies, with my marriage, with all the things we had to go through and I got us through it (yes, they had to help in their own ways to get through it too). We got through.
The trouble is, we have to get ‘through’ things in order to get to the other side and be empowered by a situation. We are way more than Survivors.
Our matters matter. We can access such strength and transformation through merely having authentic emotions. Some days, times, incidents really suck. They REALLY do. But here we are! We blindly walked where men fear to tread. Seriously.
Sometimes, we have had to detach a little to get through things. We put our heads down and we find a path through all kinds of destructions. We waited for dust to clear and then we got to work planning transformation demanded by incidents and we had to have a clear head and a strong heart, and a soul that drove us forward.
We solved problems that would baffle scientists. We walked towards a challenge with the armor of self-empowerment and we flung our swords every which way to slay many dragons. It exhilarated us. It terrified us. It made us call on hidden reserves. But we did it.
What we put out is what we get back. One day, I decided to be brave and to take no prisoners. I simply found a way out of trouble. It took me time and great great turmoil and fear. But I did it! I would do it again in a lipstick minute. Was I clear-headed? Sometimes. Was I brave? Or stupid? No, I was courageous. I needed to be calm in the chaos of great storms. I need to crawl up from my knees and stand tall and strong. I need to be patient and to squelch my fears. I needed to be patient with myself. It took years to become detached to it all, as much as one can be. I have always said I was a slow learner in many ways. I gave too many too many chances. Who you see now is, in no way, who I was in 1983. I have come far and tried to discard those things that mattered and really did not. I have come far in acknowledging that my matters DID matter. I see that now, from afar.
Your matters matter to me, as well. I am very aware there are hurting people. I am aware that women seem to always be in some kind of war with something. You can do it. I tell you, you can do it. We might be doing it in a far from perfect way, but, by goddess, we are doing it.
Blessed Be!
©Carol Desjarlais 11.4.21
**for this art journal page, I did a light wash in the background to change it up. Then I added the circles with a charcoal pencil.
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