You Are Beyond Compare

 

 

 

“Some days I am more wolf than woman, and I am still learning how to stop apologizing for my wild.”  - Nikita Gill

There is only one YOU in the world.  So many have had our self of self undermined.  We grew up comparing ourself to others because we were told “What would ____ think?” 

Our culture is full of reasons to compare ourself to others.  We are told, outright, or inferentially, that we are not enough, that we need to be above ordinary, that we would feel better about ourself if we only buy their product, be like them, etc.  We forget that there is always someone ‘better off’ than us.  There is always someone we think is more beautifully (artificially so (think photographic enhancements for slick ads).  When we are ‘sucked in from our base feelings of our not being “enough”, then we buy into that we are ‘not enough’.  If we allow others to manipulate our sense of Self, we will always feel ‘less than’. 

Who are you?  Who are you right to your bones and DNA?  What do you value?  What do you respect about yourself?  What would you NOT do to be you?  Do your actions fit your deeper sense of self?  Do you fight the battle of eroded self-esteem coming from others, or do you walk out knowing you are you and that is simply enough? 

Oh, so you made some mistakes?  You perfect according to some writings, some other people’s rules?  Oh, did you think everyone else in the world was perfect and you are the only one in the whole wide world and history of it, all, were perfect?  Of course not.  There is not a single person in history, right up to this moment you read this, that has been ‘perfect’ according to others. 

When you walk around feeling ‘damaged’ then your very appearance will show it and you become a victim to others, vulnerable and weak to others.  Does this mean you didn’t spend an hour doing your hair, putting on flawless makeup, doing your hair in prefect precise ways (think ‘stiff hair’, sprayed and sculptured into what you thought was perfect).  Nah, there were some flaws you were trying to cover up…yes, even trying to look perfect shows that you do not feel so underneath.

Do you have integrity?  Are you telling the truth to yourself?  Who do we think we are kidding when we tell ourselves what we think others say about us?  Never mind when we think others are attacking us?  We attack ourselves all the time.  Our Evil Inner Witch/Ego/Critic loves to whisper sweet nothings to us.  Trouble is, it is us choosing to allow it/them to say what we want them to say.  Did you think you were not in control of your inner beotch?    Ah, but you are, or you are not.  It is whatever you allow to be listened to.

 Building self-confidence comes when we turn outside ourselves to do things for others.  When we cause happiness, comfort, and/or appreciation in others has affects on output energy and that energy collides with ours and WE feel what they feel.  It gives greater meaning to us and builds up what we have felt as lacking into something larger.  Yes, it does not happen in a moment, but it happens little by little.

We need to stop apologizing for who we are.  Apologizing to others for who we are tears down any self-growth we may have made.  We are immediately ‘putting out there’ that we are not enough.  We are always in the state of being who we are.  Be you.  Be the glorious you and know the difference between weapons and wounds. Remember, you are beyond compare.

©Carol Desjarlais 11.25.21