Here are some stats on how retired and elderly women spend their time per day, according to 2015 Canadian stats:
5.7 hours unpaid housework
3.5 hours meal prep (because we tend to still cook from scratch)
1.4 hours shopping
3.5 hours active pursuits (I take this to be looking for stuff we cannot find or our partner cannot find. Or…. looking for lost partner in some danged store…)
2.2 hours of involvement in civic, organization, religious activities
2.2 hours social activities of some kind
2.2 physical activities outside of home
4.6 passive activities, including television, internet activities, reading
I figure personal goals and pursuits must be taken into consideration. As well, the older we women get, the more apt that physical abilities change, chronic pain gets in the way, having a partner or not having a partner, changes things, etc. The older we get, the harder it is to get up, never mind get past jammies, taking a shower, having diabetes, having a tired heart (physically and emotionally) and etc. changes things. Whoever says it is the best time of their lives either have good genetics, never worked themselves to the bone every dang day in their career – on their feet-stress-filled careers, etc., and lived pretty much easy lives or had lots of money… and have unique connotations of “best times” …well, you get the picture. Or, life was so rotten all their lives prior to becoming OLD makes this old age a piece of cake. Believe me, it is not the norm.
Our alarm clocks ought to read, “Get up, or don’t get up, it is entirely up to you” o’clock. Sometimes it seems 3 am seems to be the common time for all good things to start. Not!! But having to pee is now our alarm. And I have a new set of rules for morning: DO NOT ask me any question, ask me to do anything, ask me to be ready to go BEFORE 10 am.
We’d exercise... well, we DO exercise every morning by simply trying to get our clothes on while losing balance and then trying to U-Haul our backsides back up again. (We need a ‘backing up’ horn). A huge part of our early morning exercise program is trying to unstuck from the toilet because SOMEONE left the toilet seat up again.
We are tired of eating so called ‘healthy’ food that tastes bland and absolutely never did satisfy. Our blood DNA has become more like a potato chip than blood of a human being. We are tired of cooking. We are tired of washing the pots and pans afterwards. But, then, it hits us, that, to kill the boredom, we can try out new recipes(to the palate horror of a partner who is a meat and potatoes kinda guy). Then we bake for days.
Shopping becomes window gazing. I pass by the bath product store and wish they still carried Patchouli scented bath things. Did you know that they took the patchouli out of their products because….get this.. pure patchouli is able to give you a high if you burn it and snort the smoke? Go figure. I found this to be true because, when I went to Columbia, South America, they were all putting pure patchouli oil on the end of their cigarettes to smoke and get a high. I still have a few well-aged tiny bottles of patchouli and never once thought to smoke it. I pass by the clothing stores and decide not to go in because, covid tent-and-awning is probably not available and if it is, it will be polyester something awful sand one-size-fits-all is probably a lie. I walk through Wally’s and wish I still went to Yuma where the prices are awesome and the clothing in their store is much more interesting. I head to the grocery store and shudder at how the prices have risen.
As far as getting involved in organizations, well, my friend and I have said we could not ever do that. We figure our patience is so low we would quit or eat someone the first day.
Covid has changed me. I no longer want to be around big groups of people. I am fine with just having friends over. The Bee Man likes to go to the meat draws at our little Legion so that is the one thing we do together. I sit there and try not to give the stink eye to women who get inebriated and sloppy. It sooo disgusts me. See my reason for not being involved in organizations. I am the dog in the corner of the dog park snarling, teeth bared, and threatening. Lol
I take the garbage out. That is exercise outside the house. Oh, and walking the halls of an echoing mall that is still covid-sparse. Oh, and walking the perimeter of Wally’s. I just cannot seem to be able to walk around our big block. I am not sure it is procrastination, or that it is boring, or that I just don’t want people staring at me out their windows. My little neighbor friend used to ask me to walk with her but she said, nicely, that I walk too slow…lol.. silly me for trying to keep up to a thirty-year-old. I would walk if I had someone to walk with but, other than the thirty-year-old, our neighbors are elderly, or work, and they don’t walk either. So, I try to really mop the floors when I mop, I really dust when I dust, I see how many steps I can get by walking around the house. I can sustain that until about noon.
Yes, I am a passive activity person; art; squinting at diamond painting ( that is what they should name it by the way because I will be danged if I can read the itty-bitty little symbols);working in my art journal; writing my blog; texting with friends until we get together once a month to make cards; yes, yes, doing some baking, of course; watching Netflix while doing one of the above activities; oh, yes, napping…breathing is exercise, right?; and tossing and turning while I sleep. That is it... passive.
It sounds all good, but then, I would invite you to try to keep up to me in the mornings. I am really good to go then. But, by 2 pm, you have to make yourself sparce because I have my healthy afternoon nap. Now you know what this old lady does.
What do you do as your own Queen for a day??
©Carol Desjarlais 11.10.21
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