“The suppression of women's rights began with the suppression of women's rites.” -Merlin Stone, When God Was a Woman, 1976
I have, as I have blogged before, longed for connection to the nurturing, care and comfort of a Divine Feminine. There were side mentions of her but she was only the Christian Mary. I was not connected to her. I wanted a Co-creator. There had to be one. How could I find a way to connect to her? Surely, she would be more loving than the monster male I had been conditioned to fear and believe in who was going to get me no matter even if I had been good. One that did not expect that I would want to be perfect because even thin king you could be perfect was a sin but you were supposed to crawl on bended knee and take the beatings. I needed a loving, compassionate, understanding Divine Feminine. (Please do not think that I do not believe in an Omnipresent Being. I do. But, long decades ago I stopped identifying with “God” and call that Being “Creator” of the First Nations.) It did not take me long to discover there were many many Divine Feminine Beings to identify with and such solace it brought my soul.
I am sorry that the Divine Feminine was hidden from us and we were taught not to question, to seek, nor to accept that there was a still small voice within that was her, was within us, that we only needed to begin to listen to and she would rise in most loving and compassionate ways. I no longer had to identify with the Divine Being that others forced on me to make me, the woman, afraid, shamed, guilt-ridden nop matter what good things I did or was.
The Divine feminine within is felt. It, as is Creator, formless and yet, once you sense her, acknowledge her, there is a sense of unwavering feminine love. We never get enough of mothering. I think, as I consider the Goddesses and The Divine Mother, she is created in my own mind as The Mother image, in human form. I find her, often, in my art, as such. I find that I give her human traits, human weaknesses, and, yes, even human shadow side. Yet, in speaking with the Elders, I have been told that Creator is neither male nor female. I guess I am grateful that I no longer see him as a vengeful being, well, a bullying old white being that is out to get us for some unknown reason.
I came to understand that, in the English language, we tend to use the masculine pronouns to even label women, and yet, we assign the feminine to the Earth. Anything to do with creation, in Indo-Christian religions is created by a masculine, yet we know it is the feminine that creates and gives birth. We are told that we are created in God’s image... was God male or female? There were always those missing logical ideas about God and the Divine Feminine.
To me, the Divine Feminine is a being that inspires, a being that is empowering, a being that is healing, a being that is nurturing. I am connected to Mother Earth as her home. I hold her and Mother Earth as sacred. I honor and respect and do not fear The Divine Feminine. Our body is divine. It is wonderful, miraculous, powerful, sacred. The Divine Feminine is my holiest of holiest Mothers.
©Carol Desjarlais 3.29.21
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