“When you become more aware of your thoughts, you take off the blindfold . you don’t necessarily stop the thoughts, but you have ore clarity.” -Elissa Epel, Phd.
Life has been so much under a microscope, in so many ways, this year. It has been an opportunity to really SEE within, around, above, below. Bit by bit, we have changed, our psyche has changed. All of us are not who we were at the beginning of this pandemic.
We have had a time to be more conscious (or unconscious, as in food for comfort, ugh) of our body and how it is working, or not. We have had time to think. Not all our thoughts were empowering, to be sure and, maybe we have conquered shutting down the negative thoughts a little more than before – maybe our thinking is broken now too. Our hearts have been broken, in many ways. Our spirits have learned not to let this crush us, even if it feels it is going on forever.
I think we have to have learned patience, we have learned we cannot have life as we want it all the time, we have learned to be selective about the messages, and messengers, coming through our daily lives.
I think we may have met our shadow-selves. I have. I found it easy to slip into bitter feelings, resentment, and have worked really hard to hold that at bay. When the shadow side emerged, I acknowledged it was there and did something about it to turn it around. Ok, except at Walmart with snuffy people, rude people and 'deniers of mask-wearing'. They still are sources of my feelings of ire. Oh, and conspiracy theorists and the panhandling of misinformation from those people, places and things. Ok, so I need to work harder on this part.
I stopped being so critical of self as I became more aware that I was using food to comfort myself, unconsciously. I did many projects to keep the blues away, and to keep my body, mind, heart and soul busy. I joined a soul-refining group and kept it just for myself as I nurtured self. I downloaded lots of music on spotify and have listened to much much music of my own choosing. I stayed away from daily television and used Netflix and youtube exclusively so I could, again, choose what entered my space. I cleared junk out of body, mind, heart and soul…oh, and house. I have a yard sale ready to go when the time comes. I have bags of things to take to salvation army. I cleared out stagnant friend’s lists, nurtured relationships that are important to me... like sisterfriends on a little goddess within, of course.
Now is the perfect time we may never have again, to really take long looks at how we have changed,. and what we will discard, when things become a new normal. What have you been up to in ways of survival beyond just body?
©Carol Desjarlais 3.16.21
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