Surviving, Overcoming, Thriving

 

 

 

Here we are, still surviving, still overcoming, still thriving. 

With the new antivirus medication, I am more hopeful about next year.  But I have heard that some of us will wait until September of 20321 to get the shots.  And… a new variant of the virus is right next door in the city here.  We are hearing it transfers more rapidly, the outcome of having it no worse than the other, but still deadly.  It is hitting too close to home.  I have to keep plugging along with what I do that nurtures Self.  I am looking forward to a change of seasons.  I am looking forward to new adventures in arts and crafts to do as the winter wears along.  I have rock hunting to do with the club.  And, I have rocks to make cabs of at the shop during the winter so I can book a day to go in.  I just need to keep going.  I am not a sits-still-woman. 

There is no end to things I can do, plan to do, things about myself to change.  I can sell my art on serendipity Virtual Market until April, so that keeps me busy doing and labeling and posting and keeping track of. 

I am learning to allow myself to just do nothing if I choose.  I have nowhere to be, no-one to meet, nothing scheduled, so I can do it tomorrow if I wish.  I make myself chai in the middle of the day, if I want. 

As I have said, I have moose tufting to do when I catch up on commissions and things I have started and need to be finished, then I can play.  I bought a wood burner and hard plastic to make myself my own stencils.  That is something new I picked up last trip to the city.  I always have a portrait in my head that wants doing.  I am impatiently waiting for my crystal pen and inks to show up so I can give my hand at trying to do some dip pen work.  I am NOT making resolutions, as I have said, I am settling for a few intentions.

For this one night, I allow myself sweet dreams of past New Years and a soulmate who awaits me.  So many sweet sweet memories.  There are others I have lost this year.  I feel some nostalgia about their loss in my life, my immediate family.  None can take their place and none should.   Two nephews, a brother-in-law and a sister-in-law this year.  We have another, the dearest of all, waiting in the wings of vascular dimension, and we feel her leaving every day.  Tonight is a good night to honor them and how they were meant to be in my life and I in theirs.  Choice memories… some longing, and yearning, yes, but soon enough…soon enough.

There will be no fireworks, no snap toys, no whoo hoo and ya hoos, there will be no partying or drinking or eating anything special for this last night of the year.  There will be a quiet release of breath that we made it so far. 

©Carol Desjarlais 31.12.21

**art, of course, inspired by Willowing

 

I Wish You

 

 

 

“I Wish You” - Meredith Heller

I wish you mouthfuls of laughter and warm cozy hands and bowls of nourishing soup and starry-starry light glittering at the periphery of your eyes as if someone or something is tapping you gently on the shoulder, whispering a song from your childhood that makes you smile and weep at the same time, in a good way, like when you know who you are.

I wish you the scent of lime blossoms and the taste of salt on your lips and a silver feather tattooed across your belly, gentle and elusive as a water mark, and the inviting rhythm of rain on your roof that wakes you up at night and draws you from your bed to dance a little in the darkness with a prayer in your body.

I wish you a loving letter from an old friend when you least expect it, with words that warm you like small sticks of kindling that catch and smoke and smell of ancient sandalwood forests and the tiny blue birds that sing at night, unaware of the hour of their rapture, and a low-slung moon, lying on her back, points up, like a bowl of light.

I wish you pan-fried plantains drizzled with honey and the lonely sound of a fog horn at dusk after it’s rained all day, and the sweet, rich, gentleness you feel in every cell of your body when you’re kind to another human being.

I wish you the stillness of the great blue heron and the way my heart grows wings when I see the sunlight spangle the water, and the feel of your back, leaning against these rocks here, that have soaked up the sun all day, filling their veins with light and humming their minerals into your bones, and this wide blue sky that touches the curves of the mountain tenderly with his hand and the way she arches up to meet him.

I wish you the cool clean whiteness of shells, the sacredness of bones, the memory of flight that leaves its signature in the feather. I wish you the wide wingspan of a low swooping owl as it turns 90 degrees on its side, to fly between trees in the forest, as you walk home alone one night, listening for your song.

 

Cold Moon – Full Moon: The Better You

 

 

 

As the cold settles in, December’s Full Cold Moon rises and ushers in a hard season.  This long night moon, Snow Moon, when trees crackle from the cold, is a purification moon.  It is a moon when frost clings to outside things (hoar frost).  Humans have always tried to mark time in some way.  Each moon carried a symbolic name that describes what is going on in their world during that time.  Each Moon carries some teachings, some practices, some ways for us to deepen our spiritual connections during this time. 

This last year has been one of the most exacting and demanding years of our lives, as far as I know.  Oh, yes, we have had our little grievances, our little sadness, our losses of faith and hope, but this is way different and we are either going to be better people or people who should be better or it.  Imagine how thick the ether is of the sorrow for lost loved ones due to covid… globally… it has to be heavy and it will have affected us.  Even with all the lows, there have been some highs. 

There has to have been some growth.  Have you found the negatives and worked on them?  Did you notice things you might have overlooked before?  Are there amends to make?  Dig out those things/ideas/actions/reactions that no longer serve the BETTER you.

Tonight is the best night of all to give voice and action to your gratitude.  We are still here.  We are in precarious states but being able to live and breath, to love and do, is reason for it.  Think up a new ceremony you could start to celebrate our survival.  Light a fire, a candle, whatever you can do to spread some light.  If you can make a fire, or even a small smudge bowl fire, welcome in its old soul.  Feed it medicines; sage, cedar, sweetgrass, holy wood, whatever you have you can add (even old lavender sheaves).  If you have a BBQ, light it, cook on it tonight.  Sit and meditate, or pray, or simply sit and think about a review of the year in all its ups and downs.  Do some remembering over the fire.  And, do not forget the offerings.  Set out food for those you lost this year.  Make tobacco ties.  Offer food to the animals, birds… give back something.

We can create a great future by considering how our thought processes/actions/reactions affect the ether. consider some intentions, make them valid and doable.  This nest year begs us to be strong, to be brave, to be committed.  There will be no end to this until we make the differences that will end it.  Do not forget to thin of ways to replenish your soul.  Every change starts with a “within”.  Even the ether is suffering.  Be compassionate as often as you can be so.  Remember the hardships of the ancestors and see if you can figure out what makes us resolute, what makes us desire to be better.

Happy Full Cold Moon.  Let each of be a better us.

©Carol Desjarlais 29.12.20

***art inspired by Shel C