Risks

"It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive." - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

My brother just had massive heart attack and strokes at the same time, last week.  This week, well, whole different story.  He has black spots in his brain from strokes.  The bottom left lobe of his heart is gone.  But in three days, after a week of stabilizing, he was flown to Victoria, test done, and had three stints put in at 1 pm, and was released at 5 pm.  Isn't it amazing?  But, he sounds like a trooper...so positive.. so happy to still be alive.  He is busy, two days later, making fertilizer for his plants at their new home.  He is puttering, of course.  He has restrictions... many...including no more driving.. that will drive him nuts.. but... he is sooo happy ( it's the amount of oxygen that can get to his brain now with the stints, so he is high high high on oxygen and new lease on life.  He will take risks.  Of course he will, he is one us US.  We are all the same.  We cannot sit still and we don't actually listen.  Risky business that, as we age.

I think we learn what kind of risks that are age-appropriate.  For me, some days, it is not remembering to take my pills;  Making sure we keep our balance;  Having that nap so we do not fall asleep at 6 pm and wake at 3 am.  Risky business...lol.   Deadly serious that all, too.  I mean, I am not going out partying like a twenty-year old.  Did not do that when I was twenty, why would I start now?  As we age, risk factors and risks change.

We have bigger fish to fry when we age, including if we will have enough money, if we have a safe place to live, if we have caretakers if we need them, if we can stay independent longer, if we can get around, if life hands us more negative things than we can handle.  And, if we can avoid taking risks at all.

We are vulnerable in our aged times.  Food bothers us more and in different ways.  We are prone to our hearts wearing out.  Our minds tend to lose sharpness.  We have to take medication and all medications have side effects.  We have more losses than you can imagine and that is in every quadrant of human life.  We become more isolated, and not by choice.  We are at risk of not being able to thrive because we end up in some basement suite with a dog or a cat or both and not much else.  Of course, we are all different.  Our previous health has a great deal to do with how we tend to do as we become more aged.  We still worry, yes, we still worry, but not about silly not-necessary-to danged-live worries.  We have been independent women.  

 What happens to us when we can no longer care for ourselves, because, if we live long enough, we will?  The risk for depression or anxiety heightens.  

So, take risks?  Lord, have mercy; waking up every morning is a risk.

©Carol Desjarlais 6.19.19