Life will knock you down, do not doubt it, it will knock every ne of us down at some point. The point is not getting up right away, but to learn the lesson and then get up and go again. But, what happens when you have no “get up and go” left in you?
Sometimes joy and purpose is not enough to keep us afloat. Resilience is the ability to get back up, to bounce back, from adversity, trauma, or something devastating to you…only you…because, what would perhaps devastate me would seem paltry to you and perhaps visa versa. What I have overcome might be unsurmountable to you and visa versa that, as well. When I think of what I survived, overcame and went on to thrive in spite of, amazes me. I just took care of my daughter in law, son, and seven children because she had two brain bleeds... yet, she begged and was released the first week. I knew what I went through to survive, overcome and then thrive after one brain bleed. Her mother, the same. And, yet, she made her way home and began organizing and scheduling and I know it took incredible effort, but the survived and was overcoming. I had been laid low for months, almost a year. I am not sure about her mother but I do know she is physically unable to do many things even yet from hers decades ago. How did we do it? How did I go from brain bleed to University in two years? I even wonder how I raised seven children plus some extras. I soon discovered that I was not able to do what I did when the triplets were born 8 years ago, but I did more than I could ever believed I could have. Yes, I am worn out, yet, but that is nothing. I did it. We all did it. How did we come back so quickly? Resilience!
I have a sense my resilience to have surmounted many things is something inside that I have n control over. Some will say they have learned resilience. Some never learn it. We are born with resilience. You can learn to be resilient. You just need to develop more of it.
When you are down and out, weeping, gnashing your teeth in despair, you need to learn to FEEL IT. Know its name. realize we cannot be strong all the time. Resilience is not strength. Resilience is knowing our weaknesses and expressing that sadness’, that frustration, however we can. I choose to art journal, to paint, to etch, to draw it out. Expressing how we are truly feeling, that despair, is acknowledging it and as we express it, we are actually beginning to cultivate resilience. We have all the answers within. We need to absolutely feel all those emotions of grief, of anger, of sorrow, and all the myriad of emotions that come with trauma of any kind. As we work through our authentic feelings, things begin to clear. In that clearing is hope. All of our feelings are gifts and knowing our sadness (Hello, Darkness, my old friend) means we can know joy. If we know darkness, we can know light. Somewhere in the beginning of acknowledging and naming and expressing our lowest moments, is when, like a blossom begins, it will blossom to reliance.
When we surrender the control we thought we had, to experiencing life being in control, then we truly are able to begin to stand up and flower in sharing our stories so that no one has to feel alone in our moments of weakness. It is good to gather as grandmothers, aunties, siters, sisterhoods, as women of the Red Tent, and in that gathering of sisterhood, we share our weaknesses and strengths. That is truly empowering. It takes a village….
Our village, our Red Tent, can take on any form in many arenas…yes, even online…in groups like our Facebook group. It is there we can turn to be nurtured, to have our resilience nurtured. Here we are, waiting, in a circle, to hold you up until you can gather your own feet and rise.
On this page is another way to express yourself with collage. Sometimes you can use many different techniques and materials to collage. You can use needle and thread, staples, tape, image transfers and, as in this page, you can add interest to a collage by sewing, embroidering, etc. On this page, I gathered up some tissue that had an antique print of a woman’s face. I choose a decorated pocket. I use an extra heavier piece of cardboard to do the stitching through so that the page was a heavy enough backing for the extra ribbons and tiny flowers. You can add anything your page can hold.
©Carol Desjarlais 7.3.22
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