Remember this: No one can make you feel anything you do not want to feel. Sometimes we simply have to make the effort to change our emotional behaviors and improve our happiness status. A sad mood is not something that happens to you…neither is happiness. We choose to be either sad or happy.
Other people, places or things are not responsible for how you feel. Here are some things I try when I can feel ’that’ mood coming on, because it does and we all experience it. What we do with it is a conscious choice.
Be your own best friend. None of us likes to hang out with someone who is constantly sad. It drains us. I retrieved my happy self from a friend a couple of years ago. That friend had been literally sucking the life out of me with problems she had but was never willing to work on and wanted everyone else to solve her issues. When one helped her with suggestions, she never took them. She was a soul-sucker and I allowed it. I needed to hang out with different people…happier people...people who were overcomers and thrivers. I cannot explain how grateful I was to sense a mountain coming off my very heart. Everything happens for a reason. I did not plan it, it simply happened and I let it happen and turned away and walked. The weight had finally driven me to my knees and I was done with it.
Negative moon/thoughts come to everyone. We have to surrender to the feeling, name it, and let it go. The more we fuss with whatever it is we have decoded caused it, the longer we will obsess about it. Just acknowledge and let go.
Sometimes the negative thinking wants to cling on. They stuck there in the past and we have fed them by allowing them to thrive. We need to challenge those negative thoughts. When you have a negative feeling, ask yourself what that is really about. What is the evidence? How valid is that evidence. Have I chosen to see the negative rather than know the facts? “You are not enough!” What the heck does that mean? Enough what? Define Enough. Who said? Do they really matter? Is it something from you childhood you have decided to make true? If a friend said she thought this way about herself, what would you tell her? Be your own bet friend. P.S.: Do not say unhappy people are your tribe. Chose another tribe; one that is more optimistic.
Stop wasting your time on looking for false facts/fake facts that support the negativity. Life will always throw you curve balls. Refuse to catch it or pick it up and make it worthy. You are worth more. Dismiss those thoughts. Use your own beautiful mind to squash negative thoughts. Trust yourself and have patience with yourself. Some of these thoughts are well embedded. Dig at them bit by bit until you can chuck them in a refuse pile.
We have great strength and power within. We are intelligent beings. We can use our strength and intelligence to ward off negative thoughts. Believe in that! As well, we have all had worse than negative thoughts happen in our life. To survive, overcome and thrive is innately within us. Access it.
Sometimes we move through a time where we feel unloved. We long to be loved. We long…. Yes, we long… and we seek people, places or things to love us back. All the while, it is our very soul begging us to love ourselves. It wants us to stop bullying and wounding ourselves for what we perceive is lack of love from outside ourselves. It is within that is hurting. Only loving ourself can heal that longing.
We can let our emotions get attached to things, people, places…too attached. We can want something, someone, too much and cause ourselves to feel emotional pain. It can cause us to live above our means, or desire the unattainable. If we are meant to have it, it will come. Be authentic in your desires. Make sure you know the key reason for wanting what you do not have. We all get disappointed, betimes. Feel it and let it go and do something that will have the universe provide what you are meant to have.
The, of course, some get over-emotional over insults, or what is seen as an insult. We choose to be insulted. Hurt people will always hurt people. Do not be led into forcing your own perception as your own. Do not own other people’s critic, judgments, jealousy, etc. You are worth more than that.
Feel good about yourself, no matter what life brings. Know that each time you wake up, you have another chance to make things better. A really good thing to do is make a list of Best Feelings. I challenge you to write a list of 10 best feelings and share it in our Facebook Group.
Here’s Mine:
1. Going outside at night when it is lovely and cool and listening to the crickets and feeling the moon.
2. Standing on the shore of a glassy lake in the mountains.
3. The smell of coming rain.
4. Holding a newborn baby
5. Clean, cool, good thread cotton sheets.
6. Picking rocks anytime anywhere
7. Meeting an old friend I have not seen in a long while
8. Phone calls from my kids or grandkids.
9. Having an art project work itself out.
10. Fluffy blanket I can run my fingers through at night.
Now, your turn:
©Carol Desjarlais 7.10.22
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