Transference

I have learned, over my years of working within arenas of addiction in others, that we can transfer negative addictions/personality traits/actions into positive ones. I know that I have an addictive personality. I have been able to watch them, like a mother over a child, and make sure that when my addictive personality shows up, I train it to stay positive. There are positive addictions; ie. my art. I do not drink, I do not do drugs, but I do smoke. When I was adopted, at six months,I had sucked huge welt on my wrist. As a child, I bit my nails. So, I know I have always comforted self and that it became addictive...or was, already. As I matured, I stopped negative traits and slowly began to change negative to positive. My work became addictive. And, finally, my retirement, I have made sure I chose addictive activities that are healthy for me.

Transference, that I was trained in was one where we redirect a client’s emotions and feelings, and, yes, addictions to something more positive.  An easy way to understand this is; you have a child addicted to a blanket, a soother, and they need to go to school, and they cannot take such with them.  What I would do is replace the negative with a positive, in this case, trade the blanket, the soother, etc., with something else that is more appropriate.  It is not done in one foul swoop.  It is doing it in increments and lots of positive reinforcement.  When my first daughter was little, she wanted her bottle at the age of two and I was tired of baby diapers soggy by morning.  I got her to evoke some feelings for our big dog, a St. Bernard, who happened to have the saddest eyes ever.  I had her try to help Gretchen be happier.  I would have her go out and play where Gretchen would wag her tail and be hopping and skipping around.  I reinforced Gretchen’s happiness.  Then little by little I was, at the same time, trying to reinforce what a big girl she was by weaning her off her bottle little by little over the same days, and she was, then, only having her bottle at night.

  Eventually, when I felt she was ready, I told her, “Look at Gretchen, I bet I know what she really wants.  She needs your bottle.”  Now this bottle was not given up quickly nor easily, but I had her let Gretchen happily lick off her bottle, then I would wash it and say, “Ew… it is gross to have your bottle after Gretchen has had it in her mouth.”  Over a day or so, my daughter realized that a bottle could be dirty and maybe not so wonderful.  When I knew she was ready, I brought out a silk blanket and a new doll baby I had bought to use as a reward.  The dreaded night came.  Before bed, and after bath and jammies, I told her, “oh, look at Gretchen, she needs your bottle.”  Now she did not fall for it the first night, but I tried two more nights in a row and finally, it worked.  My daughter threw her bottle out to Gretchen.  I gave her the new doll and the baby blanket and said, oh go put her in your bed and tuck her in.  While she did this, I quickly ran out and got the bottle away from the dog… in case… and rushed in to see my daughter sitting on a little rug in front of her bed.  I coo’d and oooohh’d and aw’d and asked her if she would like me to rock her and her new baby for a bit before they went to bed.  Did so, and she went to bed like a trooper.  I must say on the scond night, she longed for her bottle but I took her out of bed, with her new baby and blanket and rocked them and told her stories.  This happened over a few night s and boy was she ever mad at Gretchen.. “” She ate my bottle,” she would cry.. but I told her that I thought Gretchen looked much happier and healthier.  It worked and the bottle was gone.  

So, that, in the easiest way I can explain it, is how you transfer behaviors, etc. 

This painting began with a bunch of papers I chose to use as a distraction and forced me to make changes in art skills for a bit.  I sprayed around a cut-out silhouette I had made then used the cutout as a mask.  I simply cut out words and writing to place on the painting, almost pop art fashion is how she turned out. 

We can all do the same to ourselves.  We can change what we want changed, about ourselves.

Happy Spring changing everyone.

©Carol Desjarlais 5.8.20