''When you run after your thoughts, you are
like a dog chasing a stick. Every time a stick is thrown, you run after it.
Instead be like a lion, who rather than chasing after the stick, turns to face
the thrower. One, only throws a stick at a lion once.''
-Milarepa
This
quote digs deeply for me.
How often I have thrown sticks at lions. I realize, in this moment, how much I
have learned and matured as time passes by. Letting go became crucial for me
when losing my soulmate. I could not control and I am one wont to control what
I keep and what I let go. When this happened, I was forced to see there was a
higher plan. I knew not the plan, nor do I know it now, I just know that I have
stopped saying to myself, "I want my old life back!" 2015 was a
critical junction for me.
Like any wild animal that
is nearly mortally wounded, many of us crawl off into a quiet space and let
ourselves heal. Being a Leo is quite a
powerful sign to be born under. Leo is
the Reigning queen of the zodiac and has many lessons to teach. Leo is in charge of heart/emotion issues and
the characteristics of Leo show up in one’s everyday life. I am very much a Leo.
Like any cat spirit, I
love hugs and touch, stroking and give self-love through preening. Indeed, ‘tis so. I respond to such with love. But we can be vain. Vanity is both a blessing and a curse because
we all know about ‘hairballs’ and we do not do well if we allow our vanity to
name us.
Leos are known to love as
purely as a child, with no hidden agendas.
As well, we love to be playful as a child. We love humor and laugh right to our toes
when happy and joyful and having time to play.
We are sunseekers,
typically, although I cannot bear to sit out long and sunbathe. I am drawn to sunny days and starry nights, bonfires,
and always need to feel warm.
I am a passionate human
being. I rise to any occasion that calls
for standing up, for rising to a challenge, to defense of self and mine.
Of course, I can be
theatrical, roaring off on some pinnacle and being, at times, overly
dramatic. I love to tell a good humorous
story that is, in fact, self-depreciating, and things I have done, or do, that
are now wicked funny. But I am also
sensitive and my sensitivity has to be controlled because I can feel blighted,
disregarded, uncared for, and emotional things can get the best of me. I spent most of my life never crying, in
fact, unable to cry because, I knew as I matured, that if I started, I might
not stop. Life was not always easy as it
is these last decades and I learned to swallow my tears and lick my own wounds.
I seek to be regale, to
have grace, and to be dignity itself. I
fall every short of such so it is always an ongoing learning. I wear gold and ruby and garnet are my stones
for healing and energy. I love the Leo
herbs and flowers, and have always been automatically drawn to daffodils,
lavender marigold, poppies, parsley and anise.
I do have much inner
strength and courage. I have, at times,
had a life where Christ cried. And life
is so much better and easier over the last decades. I am grateful to be who I am and grateful for
those who cherish me as I cherish them.
I am a proud Leo, indeed, to be at this time and space.
I can roar like a Leo or
I can be a gentle as a kitten.. I am
both ends of the scale and much in between.
©Carol Desjarlais 5.14.20
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