As we are
keeping our distance from each other, it is imperative that we do not ‘fear’
each other. We are all confused
travelers on the path right now. There
is so much stress and uncertainly, anxiety and trepidation, but I do feel it
lessening as I fit this new lifestyle into my everyday consciousness. It feels less lonely as constricting rules
are released. We need all the energy we have, for ourselves, to try to keep everything together.
While we have
been isolated, we have not been socially separated because we have our online
social platforms. We have seen some
fabulous art in the art groups. We see
chats online and messaging formats explode.
We seem to love more and less contradictories and contrarians have less
and less their rebellious platforms.
They are quickly, it seems, either blocked or unfriended, or they simply
seem to fade away as we all struggle with the same confines. Yes, the rebellious will remain rebellious,
the rule-breakers will always be rule-breakers, the depressed will have less
enmeshing abilities because we love and we love our freedom and we are all in a
state of depression of some level and we are working on self rather than try to
convince others that we are more sad, more depressed, more confined, more
angry. We talk more to the select few we
have connected with prior to all this.
We seem to have found our tribe and are maintaining those
connections.
We are reframing
the way we interact and, of course, there will be the overly optimistic and the
day dreamers come out in hoards because they do not deal with Self and
authenticity. But, most of us are
one-foot-in-front-of-the-other people who take one day at a time and have
learned to fill up our time with healthier ways of managing this state we find
ourselves in.
Some of us have
learned to accept assistance from our neighbors, friends and families, as we
try to keep each other safe. Yes, we are
becoming more community-minded, as well.
We are using common sense more.
We are more globally aware of the fact that we are all in this
together.
We are learning
that this time of relaxation and stillness is a gift not a militant imposing of
authoritarian take over. I am sad to
see, even one of my sons, who lives in the states, feel that a rebellion
against each other is going to happen and has loaded up in guns. I raised him the same as the rest and have no
idea where he gets this ideology. I told
him it hurts me to think he has to feel this every day. I have no idea and it hurts me to think he
stews over this sense of doom.
One
of the wonderful things about this all is the solitude as I paint, and garden,
and watch Netflix and YouTube presentations, and trying new recipes, and
crocheting and doing a puzzle and reading.
There is more quiet time. I do
not feel rushed. I can have a nap if I
choose. I choose! That is the important thing. We can choose for ourselves what we wish to
do. I am starting a big project of making
patio chair covers with foam inserts. I
haven’t a clue, but I will research and find a fairly easy pattern to
follow. I got beautiful turquoise and
dark blue outdoor chair covering material and will use some scrap for the backs
that will not show.
As
our social relaxation comes into play, we have chosen a couple that we know are
as safe as we have been. I had a
birthday party for her and had great fun trying out a tequila lime cake and
icing.. delicioussssssssssss. It was a
happy place to be again. We played
marbles and spent the evening in the arbor.
At
first, I tried to look at this as an adventure.
How long has it been to just do what pleases oneself and not feel
guilty? I made adjustments as time wore
on so I would not sense a feeling of loss, or boredom, as it may be named here. I am good at time alone so it was not a huge
adjustment, but I do miss some of my friendly gatherings that may, yet, be some
time before they are opening again.
Which is worse, anyways? Boredom
versus spreading virus is not a huge dilemma to solve.
We
watch morning news for half hour during breakfast. Then the news is off (what a relief) and the
relentless bombardment of Dump is not hyping me up with angst that even his
looks give me. We watch the morning news
until the Provincial changes are updates are given and then, enough! We watch again only while we have dinner and
then it is off again. I do not need any
other news. Though, our television is
wonderful in the things we are learning about everything imaginable on the
documentary channel; some educational, some instructional, some historical,
some holistic. I am ever aware that The
Bee Man does not have a hobby other than his bees and we are awaiting his new
bee nukes the middle of the month. He
has little enough to do and I think it is harder on him because of it. We watch, in the afternoon, while he takes
his little naps and I do crocheting or reading or a puzzle. We fill up our days.
I am
learning the ins and outs of my new computer operating system, and playing with
some new apps that interest me. I love
art inspiration so I have a plethora of ways to do that.
Friends,
who care, have kept in contact. Some
have fallen by the wayside. Some I
choose to have to take another path other than make mine more difficult. There has certainly been a culling. And that is okay. That is good.
And |I have not made the choices lightly. Some have been long in coming. It is a relief to not have some constantly
reaching out for help they do not take.
It is good!
In
all, we are finding better ways to amuse, to entertain, to educate and inspire
us. Small walks are edifying, as
well. Some of us can no longer take
those long lingering walks around our areas or out in nature. I have a craving for the parks to open to
that we can take the motorhome out and isolate in the wild. That is my new dream to do as I have always
loved that. That is my new goal.
As
for now, I art until noon and then do other activities throughout the day, in
no set order, just to help it not feel strictly set and that boredom or
heaviness of “I have too… I should... I would, but... I could...” It all just happens as it happens. What a relief.
I
hope you are finding wonderful ways to fill your time with no pressures and no
one reaching out to use your beautiful energy.
This is wallpaper board paper.
©Carol
Desjarlais 5.11.20
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