Journaling Expectations

A man told me that for a woman, I was very opinionated. I said, ‘For a man, you’re very ignorant.’ — Anne Hathaway

Once, a good woman was one who sat back and said nothing, nor was anything she said of value.  Some were arm candy, some were 'kept pregnant and barefoot' as the saying goes.  Victorian women lived under such strict protocol for women.  Women, through the ages were to be seen not heard, submissive, and not to have an opinion of value.  In the 50s, women were to please their husband, nurture their children, keep a spotless house and children, and nurse egos of their men.  Right up until the 60s, women were not equal to men.  Today, the struggle is still real with the 'me too' movement, for example.  (Note:  men also had their formal protocols through the ages, but first and foremost was to protect their women and children, and to provide for them.)  Today a woman is expected to work all day to help provide for a family and then come home and do all the work it takes to still fulfill old ideals about what women were supposed to do.  Women's needs are still not as worthy as a man's ego. Mothers are still blamed for children who do not fall into their expected roles.   (Yes, there are exceptions, as always.)  How much have we gained?

I wish for women to be soulful women, one who listens to her soul, lives her true character, who are wild in all the right ways, who do not live by others' expectations, but lives her own authentic life.  

I wish for women that they are grounded in the present, who are supported by other women, who acknowledges her own wisdom, and listens to the guidance of her own soul.  I wish that society does not dictate and encourage us to be other than we truly are.  I wish for women to express herself in whatever creative expression that suits her mind, heart and soul.  

I wish that women could find their peace, can find their worth, can allow that which does not fit her soul to simply be cast off and chose to keep those things that truly fit her soul.  I wish her soft, for her to embrace her femininity without have sexual predilections have anything to do with it.  I wish for the calm and thrill of gathering as sisters in groups that inspire, that empower, and that truly sustain us. 

I wish for sister-friends to remember why we were created, to be a gift and a companion to other sisters and others in the world.  I wish for us to feel, right to our bones, that we are necessary and for us to gather strength from that.  I wish for us to be brave, to be courageous, to be strong in all the ways a woman can be such.  I wish for us to know what we want to take on to our God, to our next life, to whatever place we go after finishing this life.  I wish for women to know what their roles are eternal, not just for today or tomorrow but forever rather than what we think we needed yesterday, or today, or tomorrow.

And, our true nature will have us know things so much deeper than mind.  We know things of the heart, the soul, that has been passed down to us, that has us evolve into the Rainbow Women, the healers of the world down here in this hard place.  I wish we could share together, dream together, laugh and cry and be truly compassionate for each other.  I wish us to understand each other, without words, the WHY of what we each do.  I wish us to celebrate each other.  I wish that we seek the core soulfulness of our maternal ancestors.   

I wish for us to remember what exhausts us, what causes us anxiety, what we are driven to do that is driven by those with agendas.  I wish us to give away our power to no earthly thing.  I wish us to listen to the hurting sisters of the world and try to be their balm for all the hard things living this life can hand women.  

I wish for us to not feel a burden, nor cause a burden, to other women.  I wish for us to focus on nurturing ourselves and each other.  I wish for our energy to be put towards loving, nurturing, healing each other so we might all, in turn heal two women, and they heal two women.. and so on.  I wish for us to be strong enough to rebuke those who take away our inner calm, our inner peace, our inner dignity.   I wish for us to create and in creating, find our prayer, our meditation, our connection with higher powers and high souls.  

I wish for us to be aware of the energy and vibrations we send out into the world.  I wish for each of us to have a soul that sings, a soul that craves to heal others, a soul that craves and makes strong connections to sisters who fit in each of our tribes.  I wish for all these things to become our driving force, where no woman is judged for not fitting into societal views and manipulation.  

I wish, when we fail, that other sisters would rush to our sides and help us rise.  I wish that, when we fall, we are lifted by the grace of other sisters who are strong in those moments.  I wish, when we fall, we are given time to rise when we are strong enough to stay risen.    I wish for women who are guiding lights.  I wish that we would seek those women truly worth emulating for they hold wisdom, depth of empathy, and height of soul and have surrendered earthy concerns for spiritual concerns.  I wish for women, who have been downed by old storms, to have been cleansed , and in that cleansing be a beacon to those of us who need hope to carry on.  I wish for women to hold to those who hold her until they can hold themselves.  

I wish for us to not concern ourselves with expectations the greedy world would press us down with.  I wish for us to have personal spiritual expectations for ourselves and not expect that of any other.  

I wish this for us all, sister-friends. In fact, I expect it!

Can you express a wish, an expectation, you have?  To make my journal entry, I used bits and pieces of the deli papers that I have used as palette.  Things do not have to look exactly like a photograph.  Sometimes we can stretch, we can use exceptions to the rules to get a character, a portrait.   

© Carol Desjarlais 9.1.19