Friday, August 23, 2019

I Cannot Draw






“In spite of everything, I shall rise again; I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.”
Vincent Van Gogh

Even cavemen knew how to draw.  We have known how to draw since the beginning of time.  Drawing is another kind of language.  Sometimes we simply cannot find the words to write what we desire to write.  Sometimes it is so much easier to simply express it through drawing, color, shapes, textures, etc.  At about the age of eight, we stop drawing fashion dolls and clothes, stop drawing things we think are childish and some of us never pick up that pencil to draw again. 

I know that I stopped trying to do art when my teacher (my mother) asked me why I had to color so hard when Shirley's was soft and gentle like a newly hatched chick should be.  Funny how a side comment like that simply had me disengage for so long.  I thought she did not like me coloring hard and since I could not color without brilliant colors, I thought one should not be colorful at anything.  I so wanted to please her. 

Some of us have to be a kid again and just scratch color and shapes on to a blank page.  A set of kid's pencil crayons, watercolor pens, kid's watercolors, wax crayons, glue, magazines to clip art from, using those coloring books for adults, whatever it takes to get you scribbling again will only help you dig deeper in your expression s in a journal. 

Your brain needs you to spend some quiet time in order to really draw or color.  Your left side of your brain wants to organize, color between the lines, draw as perfect as you see.  Your Ego/Evil Inner Witch wants you to conform and not to do anything towards expressing your deepest thoughts.  They will keep you from even trying this.  They are on the side of keeping you in control.  The right side of the brain, where you dream, create, story tell, and all things creative, knows what you soul/heart wants to say but you may have been cajoled by your left brain into thinking you had to be perfectly perfect in everything or not try at all. 

What do you get lost in?  Do you crochet, knit, garden, sew, read good books?  You know that feeling of having time get lost in what you were doing?  Well, that is right brain space;  a place of peace, a place of prayer, a place of gentle space.  I always feel like I get lost in time when I am creating.  I am not a great drawer and am glad I got past knowing shapes of faces and shadows and etc so I can break all the rules...lol.. yes, a rule-breaker I, imagine that!  lol. 

Journaling is a place you can get lost in, for a few minutes of peace, or snippets of time during a busy day, or in the evening before bed, or in the morning when you first wake up. 

Soon your pencil ( I use those clicker pencils you get like 50 in a package from Walmart - I get the white erasure ended ones because it does not leave marks when you erase)  But...try NOT to erase.  You know shapes; just draw shapes for a while.  Get completely focused and lost for a few minutes.  If we wanted perfection we would have the real thing.  Eventually, when you really relax, say with a cup of chai or a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine, or, in my case, a diet Pepsi, you enter a space of quiet with only your hand busy shaping, coloring, whatever.  Eventually you will feel your Muse, your soul, your inner being releasing.  It is a pure high, truly.    Soon, you learn to quieten that Ego/ Evil Inner Witch that will tell you everything negative it can think of to tell you.  Just keep going; coloring, drawing, doodling, scribing.  A sense of serenity overcomes you.  You start coloring out of the lines.  A sense of timelessness comes over you.  You become engrossed in the process not the final product.  This is when you begin to draw from your heart.  You learn to express yourself in a totally different way.  Do not let your Ego sabotage what can be one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself. 

What takes the joy out of life, is when your inner critic (yes, Ego/Evil Inner Witch) starts telling you you cannot do this, it is dumb, it is...whatever negative thing you have ever heard anyone say... and poof, the joy is gone because you are trying to be perfect rather than being perfectly you. If you allow them the control, you will never find the beautiful release that journaling can give you.

In fact, you can cut pictures out of magazines, shapes out of colored pages of magazine.  You can print off some face shapes, for instance and simply color them.  Then color curvy shapes across your page, arrange some cut-out shapes different ways on the page, then glue the face shapes onto your page.  You hardly need to draw at all.

Try this:

What mood are you in right now?  Today?   What color is your mood, what shape?  What objects can you find in a magazine that speak to the mood you are in.  Glue them on the page.  Now doodle with a pen or crayon or whatever.  Write in some blank areas of your page, about your mood.  It might be one word.  You might add curlicues or write a word in different sized letters... anything goes.  It is your page, not anyone else's.  Give it a go. 

©Carol Desjarlais 8.23.19

references:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kKJW8ZLcew&t=359s

https://www.google.com/search?q=expressing+mood+in+art+journaling&client=firefox-b-d&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiRiYLymYvkAhXSJzQIHbiNDbkQ_AUIESgB&biw=1536&bih=730

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