Making space for self and others is something we should aspire to. It will make your life more full, more time to do things for self and others, more time to create great memories, and give you more purpose rather than living a flat-lined life that you might think is easier. Making space for people, places and things that will give your life more depth can only be a good thing.
Creating Space For Self:
When we can learn to trust ourselves, to be kind to self, to really care for and about ourselves, and learn to self-regulate our emotions and reactions, our life becomes more a blossom than a hard bud. We can spend our time working only on ourselves our life is not, and cannot be, in balance. Letting go is not easy, ever. Letting go creates a vacuum and what comes in had best be regulated because we do not want the same old, same old, to replace what we declared unhealthy for us.
Social media is full of positive mantras and empowerment bits and pieces. Find one that really speaks to you and use it as your own personal mantra when a negative or negative thought creeps in.
When you realize someone in your life, some place in your life, some thing in your life is negative, make distance between you and them, it. Learn to release not only people, places things, but release your negative emotions. Be real, and do not let anyone curb your release of emotions. They are yours. They are sacred. This is all part of being kind and gentle towards self. It takes patience. We learn one step at a time. Do not run when you have not learned to crawl.
Do not couch others to make decisions for you. Make your own and then own them. Be patient with self. You will not ever always get it right the first time. Stay present and yet realize that there are alternatives and alternative outcomes. Practice being mindful. Make sure you do not react, but that you take time to respond.
When letting go of others does not mean to make it a battle nor even drama of any kind. Simply let it be, let them be. If you are waiting for an apology, you might wait forever. It is there problem not yours. Know, for yourself, why you are letting them go and then do so, quietly walk away and leave no breadcrumbs. If you are serious about letting someone disappear from your life, and you have good reason, remember that reason.
Art journaling is an excellent way to stay present and to keep your commitment to a healthier life with space for other people, places and things. Keep your eye on the horizon.
Creating Space For Others:
Be there! Take time to turn your eye from inward to outward and be empathetic, make time for others who are walking on their own path towards purpose and fulfilment. It is not your path nor do you need it to be. They are working through their own stuff and it always is a case that we need cheerleaders or simply comfort as we do so. Be loving and kind to others. We do not know what they are dealing with, nor do we need to know. If we see hurt, hear hurt, see sadness, hear sadness, see despondency, hear despondency. Feel it with them and allow them the cloak of your concern and care with deep listening, unjudgmental listening, and sit with them as they find their grounding.
Being protective of others is a fundamental part of being human. Do not take over their pain. Do not BE in the hole of their pain, but be WITH them and hold them up without trying to fix it or them or ourself. The only way they can get through their pain is for them to get through it. Honor them by honoring their pain. Allow them their lesson just as we need to honor our own pain and the lessons we learn from getting through it.
We should never be too busy to stop and be a cloak over someone who is hurting. As we hold space for our own healing, we can, more aptly, hold space for those who need our support, our listening, our being a container for their traumas, wounds and overcoming.
This is sacred space. Treat is as holy. Treat ourselves as holy. Treat them as holy. This is some of the holiest of things you can do. Create time and space for others. We will learn more about our own healing and strengths as we do. It is a win-win situation, always! What a gift we can be to the world.
©Carol Desjarlais 12.1.22
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