“Women
helped each other in ways small and large every day, without thinking, and that
was what kept them going even when the world came up with new and exciting ways
to crush them.”
― Let Us Dream
My friend , my sistuh, and I have been friends for 52 years. Our kids each call us auntie, and they call each other cousins. We have had a great half century together. We may not see each other for a few years and then, when we get together, it is like we never missed a beat. I went fown to Vancouver to pick her up and I have two weeks of holiday with her.
It is believed that sending time with girlfriend(s) helps us stay emotionally balanced. They are our tribe, our safe people, where we can be who we are without judgement. They are our support , our backbracers, our nurturers. It is give and take, give and receive, and they are a blessing to us. They are the ppeople we go to to express our thoughts and discuss everything that goes on from day to day. They are our cheerleaders and allies. They are our advisors.
We create bonds and alliances. We add value to each others lives. They help us feel meded amd appreciated at a soul-deep level. They are our comfort when we experience loss. They add laughter to life. They kerrep us sharp. They are key to our sense of happiness, our sense of our being alright, enough, in the world. It is said that they add longevity to our lives.
Just as newborn babies do not thrive if they are not held and they do not experience intrractin with others, women do niot thrive as well, without friendships. Friendships need nurturing, epecially as they become elderly.
Girlfriends can validate us, share a common bond with us. They GET us. They let us complain so that we can use them as backbroads to bounce our struggles off of. They are worth nruturing and need us to be vigilant and focus on them when we are interacting.
It takes skill to be a friend, to have friends. It is said that we learn friendships skills early on in life. To interact properly with friends is learned, taught, practiced thrughout early childhood. As we age, we begin to form “clutches”, tribes, of women who compliment us, and throughout life we rebui our tribes through loss of friends. We build and repair. We nurture our friendships so our friendships are deep and fulfiling. The better we are at building and maintaining friendships equates to our own happinesss. Loving friendships can heal. Loving friendships enrich our lives. They help keep us positive.
Life is full of stressors. Life is full of lonely elderly women. Life can be tedious, full of pains, full of depression without social interactions with other women. We need a ‘tribe’ to turn to, who understand uss, who understand aging, and without words, we need our tibe to help us live fuller lives in our physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual realms. They portect us, help us be resilient, and add longivity to our live. They help us bear aging and life.
Women cope with life’s stressors because there is always someone who GETS what we are going through. We do not need friends all the same age. I have some fabulous younger friends. We need to befriend new acquainces, so that we do not grow stale. We get their youthful, parental, roles because we have ‘been there’, ’done that’, and they can delight us with their exuberance and sense of adventure.
Find a friend. Be more than simply acquaintances. Value them. Honor them. Keep friendships alive and thriving so that, in turn, we live more fuller lives.
©Carol Desjarlais 8.3.22
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