Regrets, I’ve Had A Few

 

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

Human beings are meant to have regret.  It helped save the species in that we have to recognize threat.  In fact, we are made to see the negatives. We have a conscience.  We have a social conscience as well.  We can not, could not, afford to be ousted.  A deep-seated need is given to us to remain in a social group and we should not trespass to be excluded.  Reflection can bring about positive change.  If it hurts, self or others, causes guilt or shame, perhaps we ought not to do that again.   Regretful people will always find things to regret and will dwell in the negatives.  Positive people will recognize a regret and do something about it. 

Contrarians will do regretful things just to prove they can.  Rebels will always be rebels until they finally can rebel no longer or find anything to rebel about.  It has to be a lonely space to be in. 

Many equate regrets with mistakes.  Many things regretted are not premeditated.  Life happens.  Life can suck.  We make decisions when we do not know the full facts, we do what we do before we realize what we are doing.  There are many woulda, coulda, shouldas in life.  But we have to remember, we would not, at that time; we could not, at that time; we should not have, at that time.  But we did what we did when we did it.  It is not a Present thing. 

When we hold regret, we are dealing with our early lives.  We are not that person any more.  We cannot change it.  It was.  We were.  And, now we are not.  We have already learned that lesson.  If there is regret, then we need to accept it and move forward.  Life is a progression not a degression.  What was can never be again.  What is is. 

We know what led to the regrets, we are, now, maybe late in time, accepting that there was regret, then, but we own it and we live with the changes it wrought.  Regret is merely a red flag, as it was in earliest of mankind.  We make amends when we sense we should, for things that happen in the ‘now’.  We remain mindful and not miss opportunities as they come, and weigh them with our logic.  And, we accept that we are who we are and mean no harm.

©Carol Desjarlais 8.9.22