Living Your Own Brave Story

 

 

 

“Remember the Little Engine That Could, chugging its way up the hill, huffing “I think I can!  I know I can!” despite all seemingly arguable evidence to the contrary.  And while you’re chanting for self-confidence, try these other mantras.  Say the names of all the people you admire including yourself!  Who have overcome adversity to achieve great (self-defined) success.  Say the names of all the people who have achieved their success when they were your age, or older.  Say the names of al the people who believe in you more, sometimes than you believe in yourself.” – Lynn Gordon

We know we are, as a single human being, as individualistic as a snowflake – no two alike.  We each progress differently than anyone else.  Our story is never, ever, exactly like someone else’s story.  Our kind of courage is totally different than anyone else’s courage or bravery.  Our goals, our hopes and dreams, are totally different than anyone else’s.  Our self-esteem level is different than anyone else’s.  Our purpose is different than anyone else’s.  Our potential is totally different than anyone else’s.  Our fears are not like anyone else’s.  Our story is not like another.

The way we grow courage and bravery is by going through tough things.  Bottom line.  When we hit times where we are triggered, when we are stressed, when we are afraid, it is not like another’s.  Things that challenge us may not challenge any one else.  Our fears are not the same as any others.  Our sense of failure is different than any other.  Our “unknown” that we fear, is different.  Our emotional blocks, our intellectual blocks are different.  Things that make me uncomfortable is different than yours and for different reasons.  How we mature, emotionally, is different.  Yes, we are all unique and we cannot judge others for that reason. 

We are prone to avoid things that we know will trigger us.  We all want to stay in our comfort zones.  When we avoid things that are unsettling to us, we also block development of a stronger emotional growth.  We do not build resilience.  We do not learn how to regulate our emotions.  We do not build our emotional coping skills.  We do not become self-aware.

We remain vulnerable and we stay in emotional stress trying not to deal with it all.  We think chances for growth as threats, huge threats, according to our Ego.  We do not learn to adapt to new situations.  We continue not to be able to deal with real life situations that go on every day.  Our fear is not a healthy fear…we hit fight, flight, freeze, and we have shut down our natural instincts of the reality of situations.  Fear, then, controls your life and you are the one who developed those fears, no one else.  Your response is key.  You will be anxious about things that are not, at all, a danger to you. 

The kinds of things we fear, that are not reality based, are being criticized, judged and ridiculed.  You choose that fear.  We fear rejection in huge ways because we have experienced it.  We fear change and uncertainty.  We fear we are not good enough.  If we act like we do not fear, we are trying to be brave and summon up some courage.    Bravery comes from the lack of fear.  Courage is when you do something even though you are afraid. 

Acknowledge your fear.  Accept that you fear.  Stand up to your fear and do it anyways.  Talk yourself through it.  Accept that there are many uncomfortable things in life and, since it is part of life, acknowledge when it rises.  I told you that I am fear-based.  And, I AM going to start walking around our subdivision.  I am.  And I am going to walk it every day until I do not feel afraid.  Then, I am going to tackle other things that I have let my lack of bravery and courage to do.  Fear is mind-made!  Again:  FEAR IS MINDMADE!  Do not worry about the past, the future, stay in the Present.  When you are Present and doing self-talk, you can drown out that Evil Inner Voice that would keep you afraid because it can control you more. 

And, when you try it, and you fail????  Oh, yes, we are always going to fail a few times at everything we do.  Accept that failure like a blue ribbon tacked on your chest.  You tried.  Give your self the credit where credit is due.  You tried!  It took bravery/courage to even try.  That is the first step to success.  Every failure adds resilience because you ARE going to try and try again.  And do not think about the end goal…that will have your Ego/Evil Inner Voice just a panting to criticize you.  Stay Present.  There is no such thing as perfect!  You already are perfectly perfect you!  Now develop more sell; -control, more self-promotion,. More release from guilt and shame and all the things that stop us from trying.  Just try!

Put on your brave face and step out like a courageous warrior.  That is what you are.  You are that everyday woman/soldier.  You have something to prove to yourself.  Others will notice as your self-esteem grows and blooms.  Be a beacon to them to give their own try at overcoming and thriving. 

©Carol Desjarlais 8.20.22

#79/100

Theme:  steampunk, Ivory, wet embossed, bling, TP core, tissue pape