Opt For Optimism

 

 

 

“Bad stuff happens. Sometimes it makes no sense at all. Sometimes it’s unfair. Sometimes, it just plain sucks. Bad stuff happens sometimes. Always remember that you have to move on somehow. You just pick your head up and stare at something beautiful like the sky, or the ocean, and you move the hell on.”  —James Patterson

 

Once, a Principal, at a school I was working with, said, “Mother Theresa is getting old and she will need a replacement.  I vote for you!”

To many, I was a Pollyanna.  They had no idea how hard I worked to stay positive.  I, like everyone, have my good points and I do tend to be more positive than negative.  Oft times I am faking it ‘til I make it.

I have had to spend conscious time thinking about my thinking.  I could slump into serious doldrums and I refuse to go there, so I check myself if I feel myself starting to slump.  I give myself credit.  Geez, sometimes the world is really hard.  Sometimes my life is hard.  Sometimes, way decades ago, I wished to be able to slump.  But, something in me knew that I had to be my own hero.  And I am.  Or, rather I have come to the age in life where I can look back and truly, right from my soul, say I am my own hero. 

Sure, I made lots of dumb decisions, lots of really really awful decisions, but, by darn, I made some really right ones.  Sometimes I mistakenly made right ones.  Sometimes I did not make decisions, consciously, that looked really bad but turned out really awesome.  I had to walk through the mire to get to the garden.  I could have said my decision-making was really flawed, but there was something other than my decision-making that brought about good things in spite of it all.  I had strengths I did not realize to was tapping in to. 

The other day, I spent the afternoon with a lady whose husband was going through our motorhome.  We had a lot of things in common.  We talked about teaching and what we learned from our careers.  We laughed.  We almost wept at some of our memories.  She was just younger than I but her health had deteriorated so badly that she had myriads of problems, including nervous problems she had to take drugs for.  We both had breast cancer.  We both had CHD diagnoses.  She has permanent vertigo.  We both have different stages of macular degeneration.  We both had neuropathy in our feet. (Which seems to be a teacher’s thing, in part, from walking years on cement floors of schools).  We both had struggled in our lives.  I believe she looks and acts older than I.  She said, “I do not know how old you are but you seem to be in your 50s and you look happy.”  She asked me why I was such a happy person.  I stumbled for a moment and then I simply said what was my truth:  Because I choose to be.

Another thing that helps me be optimistic is that I plan for future events/adventures/play dates so that I do not become stagnant and find it easier to isolate.  I was never ever an introvert but I have noticed I am easing into more of being an introvert since covid.  It is not my nature and it does not feel good, so I plan future things to look forward to.

I, also, make sure I am done with one day before I move into the next.  Before I sleep, I thank Creator for allowing me this one day and that I hoped that I have done some good to make it worth Creator’s while to let me wake in the morning.  In the mornings, I give thanks for the rest and ask that I be of some use for the day so Creator might let me have this one more day.  I feel it gives me a sense of all things in their own time and that I am as much in balance as I can be.  I know each moment is a gift.  And I am aware that I was sent down here for a purpose and I do not know what it is, but every day I must be doing something of that purpose because I am still here.  I work hard to remember this when life gets really difficult.

I am, also, aware that I must not suppress my feelings nor live in denial of hard things and times.  I do not busy myself in order to extinguish the thinking.  It is best to get to the core of the thoughts.  There is always a why and it is often not what the Critical Inner Voice is trying to tell you…again, it is fake news.  It is a puzzle and a mystery, sometimes, to find the real reason for the negative feeling.  But, it is imperative you do because, I have found, if I do not, it comes back, enforce, until you do so.

Seek some Optimism amidst the negatives.  Blessed Be!

©Carol Desjarlais 5.27.22