More Than Before

 

 

Just imagine, we were once a sperm cell battling our way to get to an egg before the others, and if we lost the race, we would've never existed. But then again, we were also the egg. We were 2 separate entities forged into one. It's astonishing.”  TheWoke.com

We need to feel so blessed because we are so unique and so blessed and lucky to even be here.  Think back to your earliest memories.  And, even when we remember, we can not remember the “Before Time” when we were being born and back further yet, when we were mewling for our first feed.  And, then we won’t likely remember our sitting time, our crawling time, our first steps.  I do have memory of crawling on cinders (before mother made her fabulous lawns and flower gardens, before she married father, he had cinders for lawn.)  I remember what I came to know as a garter snake.  I remember the whoosh of being picked up away from it.  It is incredible and turned out to be factual.  My next memory is being 2 ½ and being stood on the hood of our black car, looking up into the hexagon window of the hospital where my mother stood.  She had just had my baby brother.  The wind was whipping a flag on the flag pole.  I even remember, and it checked out as factual, her wearing a black robe with fuchsia flowers on it).  Both these memories are only flashes of moments, but totally sensory.  My brother says he has no early memories.  His starts when he went to school.  What are your very earliest memories?

 And there are other earlier things to know more about.  People had to fall in love.  Your ancestors had to travel horse and buggy.  There were ancestors Before that and Before that.  How many of their stories do you know? 

Lately, more stories of my birth father and mother have come to me.  Through ancestry, again, came who I thought was a nephew, but happens, now he has found his birth mother, our mothers were together when both I and she were born and he is my great-nephew.  There are stories and now I know more.  If I can find, and be found, and these stories, being a throw away baby with no authentic history on my papers, then you all can find stories of your own Before time.  It matters.  We, are all made of a previous union with previous stories.  Over and over again, couples met and someone was born.  That someone is our Before person.  We carry their genes.  We can carry their stories as well. We are about a microdot in the story of creation. 

Now, consider that we only have, with luck, a hundred years to remember and carry the stories, and our memories.  We are living but a tiny moment of time.   We are a wonder.  We are beauty.  We belong to great lineage of Before our time.  Have we shared our memories with our families?  Or are we going to be the break in the circle of life that your progeny will, eventually, want, need, to know? 

Share your before times with those who need to know you body, mind, heart and soul.  No one was exactly like us before.  No one is going to be exactly like us forever.  Your stories are unique to you.  How are you going to share your stories, your memories, your griefs, your joys, your loves, your losses, your purposes, and the things that made your heart flutter?  It matters.

©Carol Desjarlais 5.2.22