Vitality

“I think people believe in heaven because they don't like the idea of dying, because they want to carry on living and they don't like the idea that other people will move into their house and put their things into the rubbish.” ― Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

 

We are always seeking some Fountain of Youth, some snake oil to reverse things, buy into big-business of non-aging nips, tucks, diets, and fads. Every time a woman buys into such, she is negating the worth of women of age.  Men forget they age similarly.  They are the ones who first relegated older women to lower status, most likely, because they feared the intellectual, emotional, and sixth sense that women gained as the aged.   Not all men.  Not all women.  Ponce de Leon was the first to actively seek some miracle pool.  Since then, we have become more and more gullible and there are big bucks to be made off our vanity.  Perhaps vanity took over from what we should have been seeking:  vitality.

We have been lied to and we fall for that lie every day.  (I am guilty, too.  I bought lip sealer today, paid twenty-five dollars for a little tube to keep my lipstick from running ever heavenward and my smile and whistling lines.)  

We forget that aging is written into our very DNA.  Our body can only repair itself of so much, and aging has not been one of those things.  As we age, our cells, tissue, bones, degrade.  We become more and more vulnerable to a myriad of things.  Our skin loses its ability to snap back.  Our very heart will become that danger within.  It has so many beats, as I have said, before, and then it will fail.  Yes, medicine found some miracle healing things that has us living longer than the hard working ancestors we come from.  But, we are still programmed to die from the moment of our existence in the womb.

I, for one, do not want to outlive my bones.  I do not want to live so I can suffer longer.  I do not want to outlive my functioning mind.  I do not want to outlive my joy at being here.  I am pretty certain my soul will go on and on and it is the only thing.  Not even God, hearing the pleas and futile prayers for longevity, could or would change things. We hang on to our elders longer than they would chose to suffer and live on for other's benefit.   We fear death so much we fear having to mourn the loss of others even at infirm ages.  Oh, and here comes that Ego/Lizard Brain ideology that we fear aging because it may mean we lose our worth and/or importance.  

So, if aging cannot be turned around, then we should be learning to do it with some grace and dignity.  We should make sure we have hobbies that will keep us investing in aging nicely, in an interesting way, full of some of that vitality we can muster.  We should plan what we want to do and have alternative ways of doing it.  Yes, aging can mean suffering.  But, perhaps we should prepare ourselves for quality of life rather than quantity.  We need identity that does not include our career.  Careers fade too.  Find ways to be happy with WHO you are, not what you can do.  If we equate who we are with how we look, we will be sadly disappointed.  We need to be building strength, courage, and vitality of soul.  Love has no age.  If we loved ourselves, as we think we love others, perhaps aging would be less difficult.  Perhaps love is all there is to pretty much everything.  Perhaps it is the all.  

I do not know for sure what strength I really do have.  It has nothing to do with faith or heaven or any of that, for me.  It has to do with the belief that I have done good, enough good, and I do not want to live long enough to not have a purpose any more. We may lose our youth, and, perhaps it is a good thing in many ways.   I know my vitality is lagging but rises to soar again, maybe a little less high, but soars, nonetheless.  

What do you think, sister-friends?

©Carol Desjarlais 3.28.19