Dance, Dance, Wherever You May Be

“No woman ever ages beyond eighteen in her heart.” ― Robert A. Heinlein

There is no fountain of youth, sisters.  One day we are eighteen and the next we turn seventy, shaking our heads and wondering how that happened.  We tend to 'not act our age'!  We think 'younger' than we are.  Sometimes that can get us in trouble.  But, there are some who cave.  It is not easy on our body to maintain that balance between what is good for us to do and when we should learn that there is a youthful soul that forgets that we do have limitations.  Sometimes we may forget that part of aging is maintaining the inner youthful vitality in how we do things, despite the limitations of body. Somehow we have to relearn how to dance the dance. 

I, along with many of us, want to live not just exist. We are still searching for our purpose, or we are living what we believe is our purpose.  We refuse the ideology that being older means we sink into doddering, depressed, rocking-chair old person.  

 Actually, I would really not want to admit some of that.  I do, however, worry about doddering because of physical limitations right now.  Depression would be easy to be as well because it is danged hard to curb my usual self of go, go, go!  I lift things too heavy for me.  I work like a banshee, at times, and pay later.  It is a crazy thing not to be able to keep on doing the physical things I used to do.  I am grateful for a fairly sharp mind, a matured heart, and an aching soul. I have to admit, death does not feel frightening at all because I would rather not live into my mid-nineties like most of my maternal line did.  Everyone lived long enough to move into Alzheimer's.   That is where the fear of aging comes in.

Somehow we need to rewrite the logical script for the rest of our life.  We need to simply adjust the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual ways of our living.  Yes, it is a challenge to accept, but either we do so or slide into that strange sad place we could be in, or could go into.  We still need to challenge ourselves in ways that we can.  We need to find ways to exercise our body.  We need to find ways to keep learning because we have to maintain 'a sharpness'.  We need to settle our emotional 'stuff' because it will drag us down and, I believe, use up more of those heartbeats we are allotted in this lifetime.  And our spirit still needs to soar, to mature, and dance of grace, dignity and joy.

A huge part of that is to find ways to deal with stress.  That has stymied me all my life. I even used to create stress to get things done; i.e.:  invite people over so I could clean my house from corner to corner, basement to rooftop.  I have begun to know that I have learned to 'let go' many things I would not believe I ever would. I realize that I need to be Present and to enjoy what I can, to avoid drama, to set boundaries, and to have some fun. 

Grief and loss did a huge number on me in 2015.  I can only say that I have begun to push through and am gaining my sense of humor back.  How I missed that.  And, that was the last to heal.  I realize how important a sense of humor is.  We need it to get through physical losses and that becomes more evident ever day.  That hard loss has brought forward, now I have stood up from being bent down to my knees, that there is much yet to experience, much yet to know, and much, yet, to get through.  A strong, sharp, happy, wizening soul is necessary.

There are still many new experiences that I need to stay active for.  I think the new experiences, making sure they are positive lessons, as much as possible, help build our resilience.  Our body might betray us, but we have three other quadrants of who we are to develop.  And friends.  Friends are imperative and not just any old friends, but those who care about us, who make us laugh, who invite us on adventures, who know our truths better than we do, and do not hold that against us. They are the ones who should invite us to dance.

And then there is the elephant in the room; change.  It is imperative that we learn how to change, to keep up the momentum of change, and how to maintain the emotional and spiritual high that comes from making good decisions, finding alternatives and then dancing with the consequences.  We need to feel satisfaction, not sadness, at our changes.  And, know, it is way easier not too because we do not need to put out physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual effort to stagnate.  And, we do not have a lot of time.  The normal life limit has been put at 86.  It is time to get our new beginnings begun.  It is time to find a way to be satisfied.  It is time to stop the wasted time of over thinking.  It is time to BE content!

No matter how close we are to 86, we need to fill our time with things that make us want to solve any new problem that comes up, to dance with joy, with excitement, with passion, with happy contentment. 

Dance, sister-friends, dance!

©Carol Desjarlais 3.26.19