Transitions Versus Changes

"Change is something that happens to people, even if they don't agree with it. Transition, on the other hand, is internal: it's what happens in people's minds as they go through change. Change can happen very quickly, while transition usually occurs more slowly." - Mind Team

We either change, or stagnate.  When change is necessary and we are willing to do it, we will go through transitions of change and there are three parts to it:  something triggers us, an epiphany or life, and we are forced to change or stagnate;  then there is the time of 'what shall I do, do I need to do this, and I can't, or won't, or maybe I will;  once we decide, hopefully, to change, we move into transition.  

I have spent four years of trying to change back, from grief stricken and broken, to finding some common personal ground where I feel like I am myself again.  Yes, life can force us to change with the most difficult of things.  I am noticing I am getting closer to myself now.  My sense of humor is coming back.  I missed that most.  It is so easy to stay where we are dumped.  But, the damage it would have done to me is truly unconscionable. I am not one who could stay in that wounded place. If we do a timeline of our life, of changes, we can know when we made change and we can figure out how long it took us to transition from that forced, or desired, change.  I think change is not necessarily following a traumatic event, it can be a chosen one.  But, I do think change has to do with events.  Transition, on the other hand is a process, a response.  Some of us become more aware when change is needed, or we feel we need it.  We work hard to get to a new starting point and then to go on transitioning until we sense we are back or have made a progression back to some peace and calmness and dignity, with a sense of self that has changed, hopefully for the better.

Lord have mercy, imposed change can be difficult.  We do not want it (well, our Ego does not want it and it rules many of us).  We don't necessarily chose it.  We may resent it.  It is so easy to be comfortable with what we find ourselves in, and change can throw us for a deadly loop.  Think of new Microsoft programs;  xp, MS 7, 8, 9, elevenysomething.  Think of how Wal-Mart changes their departments and you hustle and fussle over their danged changes.  Those things are frustrating as heck.  But, they do not hold a candle to personal inner change being demanded of us.  Our Ego wants us comfortably where it has you.  The inner war can be great.

When life forces us to change, there are huge emotional repercussions that may include all or some of having us feel lost, knowing we have lost, being dumped into foreign emotional land, afraid, confused, angry, desire to sink into escapism/denial, and sad.  All things end.  It is a reality of life down here in this hard land.  And, we simply have to accept change in order to get past what threatens to drown our soul.  We all deal with things differently and on different time spans.  We have to take the first huge leap to get past the immediate consequences of needed change.  

Once we accept we need change, we begin the transition, timidly so, at first ( unless you are an impulsive person, then you might leap).  Leaping is not always a good thing.  One has to figure out what one wants before one leaps hither thither into whatever.  It is tough to take that first leap and some will drag the old along with them, that weighs them down, that is resistant to change, until the day they die.  Or their sadness, anger, frustration will cause them to be ignited to change and get thr9ough, plow through, the beginning transitional phases.  God knows, it can be so frustration to find the alternatives and consequences of how we change, before we leap.  What if we choose wrong?  There can be many 'what ifs' in the beginning.  I am one, who, when forced to change, sit a bit before I take a leap... but then.. Sometimes I do not have a specific place I chose to be at the end of it.  I do a lot of spinning in circles.  Literally! 

Once we begin to truly get on with transitioning, it can be euphoric, almost like a drug that leaves us nearly breathless with adventure and positivity and empowerment.

As our transitioning is in full flow, we can move through to where we are not so frantic to have this happen.  We begin to calmly put one foot in front of the other and make our way and there are bonuses along the way.  Our energy changes from depressed, to frantic, to a grace, an openness, a commitment to where we are going... the positive changes we find in ourselves encourages more change and transitioning and more what real life should be.  I found I had to celebrate my transitioning.  

Every time I find a feather, it is a personal signal I am not alone and I am on the right path.   ( Richard, my forever soul mate, who did not believe in God or afterlife, said, if there was something after, he would send me feathers in strange places, and I am still finding them, less often, but just day before yesterday I found one IN a Doctor's Office).  It reminds me, yes, I am not alone and I have a cheerleader from the heavens.

Just because we make a change and are transitioning, it does not mean we can sit back on our accolades.  It is constant work, vigilance, and strength and courage and bravery, all along the way.  Our Ego makes it very easy to slip back.  I know I do, indeed , have to be vigilant with my decisions, alternatives and be aware of consequences, all the time. 

Remember Change is a situational thing and transitioning is a psychological choice.  Yes, life has its wedge of uncertainties and our Ego does a lot of back talking.  Remember how badly you want to change.  Remember WHY we need change.  There is so much adventure in it all.  Just the thrill of what might be should keep us motivated.  We motivate each other.  We need to be each other's cheerleaders.  I love you for it.  I love me for my changes.  

©Carol Desjarlais 3.22.19