NEVER GOING IT ALONE

Let us be grateful to people [women] who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Proust

We are all 'becoming women', as I believe, we are not done until we are done.  We are our own world.  We are heiresses to what it is we make of ourselves and our lives.  We can be armed to battle it out, or we can learn when to let things be as they will.  I am tired of the battles.  I am tired of defending myself.  I am tired, as I am sure many of you are, of climbing up a mountain of troubles just to find another mountain of troubles.  I am tired of carrying heavy loads.  I am tired of needing more time to do more.  I want to just BE for a time.

As I enter these last years (life expectancy 86 years, they say), I figure I have earned some calm and quiet.  I am still growing into my maturity of body, mind, heart and soul.  I am finally finding a rhythm, rather than patterns, in my life, that are beginning to show that I am gaining a more personal relationship with the true soul of self.  I am finally 'GETTING' who I am and integrating that into those th8ings that I choose to act and react to.  In there is some dignity.  I have also figured out that the better I know myself, the more able I am to exude the giving and receiving of self-love I have longed for all my life. 

As I realize that I accept who I am, and where I am, due to my own choices and decisions, I can allow others to be who they have become.  It is then, I believe, we become nurturers and caretakers of this garden we women find ourselves in.  It is easier to love, yes, easier to be loved.  That is huge.

I have many who have tended this garden of my soul, betimes.  I know the hands, the voices; the soul of those who have come to wander here in my garden.  I love you.  I appreciate you.  My soul is gladdened, healed, and grateful for you.  It makes growing older easier. 

©Carol Desjarlais 3.8.19