Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Seeking Peace




“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.”
Dalai Lama XIV

Seeking peace is an everyday work for me.  You would think it would get easier.  I am good in my 'Within' but life, people, places, things, still get in and niggle away at my peace.  

I realize that I have to accept that my reactive sections of my being are alive and well-placed in my past, and those things that bother me still contain frustration and anger, and, yes, hurt.  I know that I have to accept this and guard myself well....'curb' myself.  My journey has been long, and, interesting, to say the least.

One more thing to deal with, as we hit this silver age, is bereavement.  We not, only, begin to lose partners, family, friends, but we also know what we are losing, year by year, of who we were/are.  Some of us still carry the old burdens of old chite; with the weight of shame, embarrassment and guilt.  However mislaid, we feel shame for old things we are no longer.  We share embarrassment at things we changed a long time ago.  We carry guilt that does not belong to us in our today.  Lord knows, we have to dump that stuff to make room for joy, pleasure, passion, and un-curtailed adventure.  We seek and miss and grieve our old self and yet we may be, unconsciously, even, the negative things.  We miss the ideals and hopes and dreams of our younger selves.  Bereavement belongs to the day we lose our partner, the day we lose friends or family, in the present, not years gone by.  That does not mean that we do not still miss them and all the wishes and dreams that go with that... we simply need to do Present work, not old chite we cannot change.

There is auger problem we might find ourselves faced with, that we have not left room for, as well.  How can we emotionally connect with the new things that life offers if we are still emotionally connected to feelings of past abandonments, and all the emotional junk that we allow to rotate around us like dark space-junk? I have a s4nese that we lose out on new joys and passions and adventures out of our connections that are not healthy in our Todays.  

I am pretty sure that every one of us knows self-persecution of emotional betrayal. At some point we acknowledge that we have been doing that and we burst out from that self-imposed orbit.  We seek freedom from so many things and yet we holkd ourselves hostage to them.

We say we desire Peace.  Let us all seek to find that by stripping the past self-perceived things that we allow to continue to hurt us and hold us back.  Be free.  Let us be free.

©Carol Desjarlais 3.13.19

2 comments:

  1. Free is a much better word. It sounds and feels foreign Is there such a thing?. Live has given me many lessons and lots of regrets Not sure I understand the word. It does sound nice though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes. Yes... we let chite go and that frees us. We discard things that no longer serve us.. in any way except to feed our victim-ego. We throw off the cloaks of our despair and become free to reach towards a safer, more nurturing, more self-healing way to be. You know when you break free of that that is not good for you, not healthy for you,, does not nurture you, it is like a mountain is off your shoulders.... that kind of freedom that says you are on the right path, learning a better way to be. Being kind to self and making choices that express this.. that is freedom. xoxoxoo

    ReplyDelete