“…celebrate each and every day that something has tried to kill us and failed”.- Lucille Clifton, poet
True clarity comes in the moments where we, as women, believe in something enough to drop the emotional barriers we have learned to have. Barriers we have been conditioned to have or barriers we have developed over a lifetime of experiences.
When those barriers come down, our strengths show themselves and strengths are developed as we seek to stand for those things/that thing we truly believe in. There is a fire in the belly, then, and it drives us towards standing for what we believe.
There are times when we might believe in something so hard that we are noting but emotion. We choose whether positive or negative. But we stand! We are certain. We are willing to go to some ‘tiny war’ in our belief that there is something good and true for/of us. It can be an anger or a motivation for something good, but we dip[ into the fire in the belly and stake a stand.
That fire in the belly can be positive or negative. In a negative stance stands the angry warrior. In a positive stance stands the seeker of truths and right. Anger is the untamed fire. There is a positive anger and a negative anger. Most of my life I choose the negative, not even considering there was positive anger. It was black or white. Something little could trigger the fire, like a switch on the wall triggers the fireplace.
Right in the solar plexus is the third chakra. The element associated with it is fire. That fire is what motivates us and spending too much time there can lead to burn out. But reaching into that fire can strengthen you and your convictions. We have to choose what battles to join.
Ager is a gift because it helps us survive (fight reflex) when attacked and is deeply embedded in our psyche since the beginnings of time. It is a protective reflex. We need to discern, logically, and without deep emotional charge, if it is life threatening not just an ego response. Anger is a venue for discharging our emotion and once we release that anger we often feel calm. But, we can feel guilt if we acted before we discerned. Anger comes from our need to control as well. We should never suppress our anger. We have to acknowledge the feeling of taking a stand and temper our reaction to what is perceived as threat. We must not allow our anger to make others fear us. Of course, in its best form, anger can motivate us so that we do demand respect when respect is due, we an find alternate ways around a trigger incident. We must always consider that we do no harm.
Anger can be triggered when change is needed. Sometimes our resistance to change can project itself as anger. When the fire inside rises, we must think of options of decisions, think of alternatives, and be very aware of the consequences.
Anger can stoke the fire when there is a sense of injustice. Personally, the Ego can sense it first and it is Ego that adds to the fire. It jumps to defend. On a personal level, we are more easily able to control the anger of incense. We make a conscious choice whether to let the fire roar or we find positive ways to deal with personal sense of attack. At world injustice, there are times the fire builds but we have a sense of lack of control. It is then we tend to find groups that feel the same as we and we find outlet for our anger in a group that is as willing as we are to vent our anger in changing society, or attempting too. This kind of release is positive.
A sense of anger can come when we are diverted from a goal, a wish, a hope, a desire. It is anger that has us try to eliminate whatever is blocking us. The fire in the belly can energize us, cause us to act and work towards that which we desire. It returns hope to us, encourages us, and gives us the desire to change things so we can attain higher goals.
Anger is the easiest emotion to feel. I am sure you have all met people who blame the doctor for someone’s death. This is projected grief because the grief is too hard to feel so blaming someone else is easier. How do we blame God… how dare we? And so, there is some other reason for someone’s death. It was the covid shot, it was the medicine, it was because someone was not doing their job, and yet it was cancer that took their loved one. Yes, anger is easier betimes.
To mature, to be balanced, is to learn how to harness that fire in the belly. The fire, the anger can be transformed into a tool for awareness of our deepest self and addressing it, releasing it, learning how to use it in positive effective ways.
I need this lesson. I need to remember this lesson. I tend to remember the times I let the fire rage better than the times where it transformed something into beauty. I wish you this. I wish you this.
©Carol Desjarlais 4.10.23
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