The only way to be braver is to be afraid – Roxanne Gay
Fear is not often thought of as a gift, but it is. When we notice it, it is best to listen to it, trust that it has a lesson to teach us, and to let it go. Fear teaches us to listen to our inner self. We have a choice: let it stop us from people, places and things that matter; to let us allow fear to rule us; to let us never reach our potential.
Healthy fear means to have the gift of keeping ourselves safe from truly dangerous situations. Fear helps us protect ourselves and helps us survive. Fear teaches us what we love, value and is most real to us. We can fear death and pain.
But, letting fear control us can paralyze us. It can keep us from thinking clearly. Sometimes fear is huge and an everyday thing to us. If we do not face it, it haunts us and changes our whole life. To allow this, stunts us, physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. We learn to stop listening to our own intuition because we think that is where the fear lies.
Listening to the fear within, can help us grow, change and can empower us. When we get to know our fear, by its very name, we realize that we can conquer that fear. We can learn to override that fear and be fearful of things we should be afraid of. We have a fearful response to physical pain. It is how we learned not to put our hand on something too hot for us. We learn not to step in front of moving things. We learn to recognize the difference between physical and emotional fear responses. We learn, eventually, to not back down to unreasonable fears.
Yes, many of us have stuffed our fears down and try to numb them, ignore them, and miss some great opportunities a we try to hide from them. Rather than simply let fear control us, we can research what we fear and understanding the key trigger for some fears that, in truth, are not logical. Intuitive fear always has a key trigger. Illogical fear also has a key trigger.
When fear rules us, we are constantly in a state of “what if…?” We can be someone who fears until we are depressed, anxious, have physical reflections of fear (headaches, for example). We can fear being too needy, not needy enough, rejection and abandonment, to receive, to give, to be who we are. We fear being seen as too vulnerable or not vulnerable enough. We can be fearful of trusting people. Places and things. We fear not getting what we want out of life and fear getting more than we think we deserve. We can become fearful cripples in life as we allow our fears to rule us. Good fear is the fear (are fears) that it takes courage to overcome. Overcoming illogical fear means we have courage. When we beat the odds against something to do with actual physical survival means we are even braver.
I think about the firefighters, right now. Our policemen, our soldiers, everyday heroes who save others lives are in the forefront of my own life right now, as true heroes. They put their own lives in danger in order to save others’ lives. I know that I have had courage to override my own fears in order to become who I am today. There were odds there. There were times I overrode my own fear for others. I have had courage to change my life in order to have a life. Yes, I have been brave, as have all of you, in some form as we overrode our fears.
Sometimes we need to look at the fears we have conquered. We may have minimized the courage and bravery we have faced. What have we loved ourselves enough to find the courage because we loved? What things have we been grateful for that took courage and bravery to obtain? What adventures have we had because we were brave enough to experience, fully|? What things about ourselves, our lives, are we proud of and what bravery did it take to give us that pride? What courage does it take to simply be ourselves? What fears have we overcome to seek out the key trigger of a fear (or fears) in order not to disappear into total fearful living? These things are the character of bravery and courage within us. Acknowledge them and see the fear as the teacher.
We move, daily, out of our comfort spaces in order to obtain wants and needs and dreams and goals. We do not stagnate and become way too predictable, to easily willing to not change, if we have learned to see fear as gifts. Life is challenging sometimes, and dangerous sometimes, and there is an easy ebb and flow of us conquering things we would have rather not conquered. Things we are most passionate about, we fight for, in some way. Our purpose and joy and peace is found at the end of finding the gifts of fear rather than the because of fear.
You brave, courageous, wonderful beings you. I have seen and heard and read of your courage and bravery. We are amazing beings.
©Carol Desjarlais 9.12.21
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