We are not our anxiety. We are not our fear. We are not, nor ever can be, in control of everything. The only control we have is over ourselves. I, for one, fall short in this area betimes.
Make a list of things you can actually control. Make a list of things you cannot control. Focus on the former and leave the latter to the havens. Moderation is everything.
You are not your worries nor are you your problems. These things pass because they always do.
You may not know whether everything you bump into that cause fear, anxiety, problems might not be your absolute last time you have an opportunity to learn a lesson you may have missed before. Look, all suffer, we are all broken. We all have learned that amidst a beautiful rose garden are a heck of a lot of thorns. Yes, it might feel like something that is happening that causes concern can be lasting forever. But, it does not... it is your reality at the moment of the chaos... and then it is gone... what changes is you and you have choice on how to control the outcome.
As we watched the White Rock Lake fire roll up over the hill in front of our house, and slithered down the gullies towards us, the smoke and ashes curled and whirled and there was such terrible beauty to it. We drove to a look-out point and as we got closer to it, it was even more beautiful in its hotter burning areas and the cooler burn. Yes, a beast, a monster, it’s smoke going one way and the fire raging in another. Even today, after a controlled burn, there are streaking fires coming down the gullies. The smoke is heavy, again, and it is moving further to the North. It is still menacing. We cannot control it, the firefighters have stalled it in areas, but it refuses to give in. We are at the mercy of Mother Nature.
The only thing we have absolute control over, is ourselves. We control our actions and reactions. There are many things we can rant and rail over, but bottom line, there are things we cannot control, nor should we even try. But, as for ourselves… many have surrendered control of Self over to others. Many of us have surrendered to our need NOT to control situations (non-confrontational). There are many of us who tilt windmills, as I have said, just to feel like they have control.
How much energy do we use up trying to control people, places, things? Best we save that wasted energy for a time when we really do need control. It is not weakness to surrender control over what we cannot. It is strength. It is pride. It is grace. It is dignity to know when to let go of things that simply are none of our business.
I remember a peer, at work, who sent me a fax saying:
“Let it go! I am not finished with that yet. Signed: God.”
That is an awesome empowerment to type out and stick on our mirror for us to see first thing in the morning, when you are struggling/wrestling with person, place or thing we are at odds with and consciously, or unconsciously, wish to control.
©Carol Desjarlais 9.9.21
***a great website resource: https://www.thebeautifullifeplan.com/blog/20-things-you-cant-control-vs-20-things-you-can-and-how-to-let-go-of-control
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