The Wolf Within

“And one of the elders of the city said, ‘Speak to us of good and evil.’ And he answered: ‘You are good in countless ways, and you are not evil when you are not good.’ ” — Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

We all have the wolf within and the old story of the two wolves, the good and the bad within, told us that the one we feed is the one that will win the inner war.  See, the Wolf represents the hurt thing inside, sometimes.  That thing is fear.  The wolf is our reaction and either we get the passive wise wolf, or we get the really angry wolf.  I am achingly aware of the two wolves, indeed, and most times, the one I fear is the one who reacts with anger to my fears.  Both wolves are there to protect us.  There is a time and place for each wolf.

In a nutshell, the Wise Wolf is the symbol of loyalty, of ceremonial spirituality of protection.  It is the Wolf Within that helps us make emotional attachments to other people, places, and things.  It is the Instinctual Self.  It is the ability to Trust.  It is the Wolf that has us learn to control ourselves. 

The Angry Wolf Within is the wolf who is rabid and wounded and quick to defense when Fear arises.  To know your fear is to control that wolf.  It is the unconscious reaction to fear of any kind that seeks to protect itself.  It is the unconscious fearful wolf that will do all and anything to protect itself.  It is also, as I call it, my Evil Inner Witch.  The Angry Wolf is the one we must tame.  It has its uses in our life.  It is what takes over when our unconscious knows we have 'stuff' still to work on.  It will be a lifelong battle within me.  It is the feelings I have that I have not recognized yet.  It is the one that comes when we have numbed our fears and have refused to take out, examine, know and heal.  The Angry Wolf is the one that lives in that part of us that is the dark side.  We all have this wolf as well as the Wise One.  Once we know the Angry Wolf, we begin to combine the Wise and the Fearful and, in accepting that we have both, we are on our way to truly knowing our strengths and our limitations, our reasons we are who we are, and we give birth to the Healing Wolf inside.  It all depends on how we feed both wolves as to who shall win.  In the end, it must be our Authentic Self.

Our psyche is well aware of both wolves.  When we feel fear, disempowerment, criticized, judged, vulnerable, our Angry Wolf is sure to rise from its crouch and attack.  It does not need extinguishing, killed off, ignored, for it is not well, if it rises at every opportunity.  It needs healing.  We need healing and the Wise Wolf is there to help us/.  The Wise Wolf is the one of Love for Self, for lessons to learn, for  healing the Angry Wolf. 

What the Angry Wolf needs, first and foremost, is to be recognized for what it is.   It is that part of Self that is still the vulnerable defenseless child.  Which we are not! We simply have to Love ourselves, others, places, things so much that the Wise Wolf can move towards the Angry Wolf and heal it.   The Angry Wolf will eventually destroy all the goodness within, the lover and loyalty within.  If we feed the Angry Wolf, it will become larger and larger and more and more powerful and it will react to shut out anyone, anything, any place.  It will devour the Wise Wolf. 

I, for one, do not want any past crap to have power over me any longer.  I work hard to control the offspring of that Angry Wolf.  I refuse to be a victim of my past.  I have to keep reminding me that my Angry Wolf is only in control if I allow it to be.  The Angry Wolf is mine, not anyone else's and I am in total charge of that wolf.  I created it.  Creator created the Wise Wolf.  I, alone, give rise to the hackles and the warnings that the Angry Wolf is being fed.  I refuse to be victim of my own Angry Self. 

To know the Wise Wolf is to empower it.  To know and feed Self-Empowerment for all the wonderful., unique, things we are, is to feed the Wise Wolf.  To stop denying that we are Enough, is to empower the Wise Wolf.  To feed the Wise Wolf the wisdom of the light of Creator that is part of who we are, why we are here, is to empower the Wise Wolf.  I refuse to feed the Angry Wolf more of old resentments, old angers and empower it more.  The Angry Wolf is thee, inside us all.  Each of us has that shadow world within.  It is our purpose to win the battle with that Angry Wolf.  It is up to us, and only us, to feed that Shadow Self the light of all that is good of us so that it becomes more and more disempowered. Light destroys dark. It is my hope we can starve it of all the negativity. 

The Angry Wolf is starving for more negativity.  It is that it feasts on.  We cannot ignore it.  That is what allows it to grow and become fiercer.  It will attempt to mesmerize us and draw us in for surely it will eat us up.  If we feed it tenderness, grace, dignity, kindness, compassion, we are literally changing its diet...we are saving our own lives.  To what purpose are we with an Angry Wolf? 

Know your Angry Wolf, sister-friends.  Know that is fear in Wolf's clothing.  Fear is a maladaptive thought, feeling, and that is what causes our Angry Wolf to leap into action.  We would like to blame other people, palcess, things we have experienced for the Angry Wolf.  But, it is only us feeding it.  Only we carry an ongoing gnaw on the bone of contentions, of being hurt by our own sense of ongoing guilt and shame.  Those feelings are nothing more than fear.  It is the Angry Wolf that keeps us feeling disrespected, devalued, rejected, powerless and unlovable.  We cannot run away from it.  It is there in all of us.  But, remember this, if nothing else:  No one can make us feel anything we do not WANT to feel. 

Anger resolves nothing.  We can focus on retaliation all our lives but only we feel that feeling and we only feel it because we choose to.  Anger is the easiest emotion to feel but, remember, anger is only fear in and angry wolf's clothing.

Starve that angry wolf, sister-friends.  Let the Wise Wolf take command as she should.  Feed it your joys, your serenity, your kindness, your generosity, your truth, your compassion.  Break the pattern you may have set for yourself.  Refuse your fears by knowing your strengths.  if it is old angers/fears it does not even hold a place of power within you unless you love it that much.  Feed that Wise Wolf!

©Carol Desjarlais 5.13.19