“Imperfections
are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.” -
Brene Brown
I
love women with raw edges, with scars and stars on their skin, who are
rule-breakers, who are aware of themselves so well they would never pretend to
be perfect. I can relate to those women. I relate to their humanness, and I see their
courage and bravery, their authentic sorrows and joys. I think some forgot that 'fake it 'til you
make it' meant just for the moment as they slogged through something
difficult. In fact, fake women put me
off, totally.
In
their' pretend perfectness', they denigrate the rest of us who are struggling
to make it through one harder thing. In
fact, those kind of women are not even interesting. Nothing in them stands out and makes you desire
to know them better. You expect no authenticity
from them. In fact, they will have
nothing much to offer anyone because they are so boring. We would have nothing in common with
them.
Give
me a woman who has struggled. Give me a
woman with flaws and owns up to them.
Give me a woman who I can admire for her honesty, her work on self in
construction phases. Give me a woman who
hides nothing from the world. Give me
someone who helps me know that we are working on, going through, learning from,
something. I can connect with women who
have truth to their stories.
Give
me a woman who is always in the flux of change.
Give me a woman who is improving her intellectual, emotional and spiritual
self. I could care less about the physical...
that is armor to keep others from knowing her truths and interesting story, or
something to hide behind in crouched fear someone will discover her truths. Give me a woman who is always improving of
Inner Self. Give me a woman with
mistakes and failures and is still here in spite of them, still able to feel
the authentic levels of joy, sorrow, anger, peace.
Women
who portray Perfect are women who are avoiding their own story. Women who pretend they are perfect are women
who lost their way along the path that would take them forward into intellectual,
emotional, and/or spiritual maturity.
Perfect does not exist and they are missing the while Living Life
thing. They will never experience trust,
risk, adventure, potentials, passions, because they locked themselves into a
model they cannot sustain.
Oh,
give me women who stir my soul with their beautiful imperfections. Let them encourage me by simply being who
they truly are, simply willing to allow others to know their flaws and
imperfections. Lord, let us not set the
bar in some fairytale or fatal fall-down one cannot recover from. Pedestals tip over easily.
Give
me women who have beaten insurmountable odds.
God, they are precious. Life
requires courage in order to life fully and in the Present. Show me a woman with strength of will, wisdom
to resolve her own issues, bravery it takes to confront her inner fears,
resiliency in meeting fear face on and reaches her personal limitations with inner
ferociousness. Let me be and know the
woman who walks through her threats, crawls through her weaknesses, opens up
her soul and allows herself to be vulnerable.
Let us be women who cannot be bullied and intimidated. Let us all be women who can hold down the
terror and try to make it a bit further through the fear. Let us be women who acknowledge we have tried
and failed, tried and been defeated, tired and tried and tried again and speaks
of it.
Give
me women who can laugh at themselves and their flaws and continues to share how
she is making it past her blockades. Give
me brave authentic women. I need
them. So do you! Brave on, sister-friends. Brave on!
©Carol
Desjarlais 5.12.19
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