Swimming With Sharks

“What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?” - Brene Brown

We are bombarded with "not enough' and life would like to always have us afraid, vulnerable, and swimming with sharks. Our Evil Inner Witch/Ego/Lizard Brain/ Amygdala/sob would have us living as if the past were the all of it and that we allow it to control our todays.  We are not cave people any more.  We are Today people and we might be swimming with sharks, but, by dang, we are swimming.  What we have to do is not look those sharks in the eyes.  If we took no risks, we would simply be treading water right out there in the middle of sharks.  

If we do not take risks, we will never know the adventure, there would be no progression, and there would be no connotations for freedom, no learning.  Just treading water is no life.  We are meant to reach our highest potential.  We are not meant to cause whirlpools, eddies, but we are supposed to go with the flow. Mmmmm dopamine.  Dopamine has us in a state of motivation.  We choose the negative or the positive motivation.  We long to be doing something, anything, that leads us to higher progression.  Our life is a whole lot of experimentation.  Yes, sharks may take a nip or two, but we can swim with only one limb.  And, if sharks were after me, I could bob, bob, bob like a snail and find a way to writhe myself out of their reach.  I refuse to be shark bait.

Stepping outside of our comfort zone can be a total risk.  We are so afraid of being hurt, of failing, of causing swirls.  We can often hole up somewhere in a cave and never know the sea.  Fear and all its anxieties are simply a failure to manage our sharks.  We think hanging out in the group will save us, but those sharks are going to attack someone and maybe everyone else is safe and we are the bait.  You cannot count , ever, on being safe so taking a risk is better than flailing around causing waves and more fear within.  

See, back in our ancestors' times, they were so aware of how Mother Nature and all its inhabitants could need them to be on high alert and the Amygdala was there to protect us.  Our Lizard Brain would have us hole up and not venture out to experience all of life.  But, our rational mind would have us reach out of Plato's cave and truly experience all that life has to offer.  We could live in that cave of fear all our lives and experience nothing more than new fear...or we could dive in and experience the freedom of engagement with the world.  I would shrivel up and die of dread if I allowed myself to sink into that deep dark place of dread of every moment, every experience, everything, person, and place.  Fear is a theme of my story, but it is not the theme of my soul.  I tend to just dive in, sometimes, too soon, but I dive in nonetheless.  Look, admit it, we have to, we may have strong Amygdala alarm sounds.  But, maturing means you know the happy alarms too and that most of our alarms "think chicken little" are overcome and silenced by our ability to risk trying again, of learning a lesson so we disable it, and react when there are real sharks, not imaginary sharks in the water.  

I think risk taking has something to do with self-determination.  Somehow determination shuts down the alarms so we do flail, but swim steadily along to create self-safety.  We do not even need cheerleaders all the time.  In fact, some of our cheerleaders are the ones crying "Shark!  Shark!"  Life has its own insecurities but that does not mean treading water is any safer.  In fact, treading water makes us more of an interesting bait.  Of course, all risks are not the same to everyone.  My sharks might not even be your sharks.  My lovely swim around a reef might not be a lovely swim for you.  Part of Self-determination is that we get better and better at knowing the risks;  knowing what is fantasy, know what is paralyzing, knowing what is worth taking a chance on.  For instance, I am not afraid of lightning, thunder, snakes, moths, etc, but I am dead scared of bears.  Mice make me uncomfortable, dying things can send me into a frenzy of omgomgomgomg.  

I know bears are a good thing for me to be wary of.  I have had experiences.  But, a Medicine Man once told me that the reason I have had so many bear encounters was that they are drawn to me for a spiritual reason.  Ok!  But, I still am afraid of them.  I had an experience where I was sitting, meditating, by a Northern lake and I was lost in thought when I heard a lapping.  Not even five feet from me was a Northern bear, drinking, and not even given me a care.  I could act out of fear and try to run...Not a good idea and risk to take, or, I could sit quietly and take what comes.  It drank, looked at me, then slowly waddled off.  I listened to the Medicine Man and that probably saved me because everything in me wads run, run, run!  Rather than being IN control, I stayed absolutely in a positive space Out of control and being ready for whatever. And, once he lumbered back into the woods, I walked up the long beach to my vehicle. Those were my most swimming with sharks minutes. It was the experience of a lifetime.

We need to identify our fears before we can take risks.  No sense protecting ourselves because protecting ourselves, constantly, means we never get to live.  Life would be one disappointment after another.  It is important to talk a hand in hand journey with that which we fear, befriend the fears so you know how to act/react when another meeting comes. Consider how much weight the fear is pulling you down and you drown in your own fears...or a shark decides you look tastier than another fish.  

 Consider the outcome of what you fear...There are so many story endings to these.  When I had a bunch of young kids, I knew who was in real danger and who was just acting up or out and who just needed a cuddle.  If it was not that bad (of course, I make the judgments from an adult's pov) I would say to Self, "Are his guts hanging out, is he bleeding to death?  No?"  Ok, affirm he is crying for some reason and cuddle him.  I am awesome for someone else's near death experiences, though.  Afterwards I crumble.  The same is what I ask myself when I recognize fear.  Ok, if not dying, then find a way to comfort self, to talk myself down, to think of consequences and alternatives.  Whew!  Got that sorted and I can swim on.

Sister-friends, consider what you fear and understand the issues all behind that fear.  If they were in the past, you survived already.  Swim through the infestations of sharks.  Know the difference between a toothed shark and a baleen shark, is all I can say!

©Carol Desjarlais 5.15.19