Many cultures see giving to others as a responsibility. I read a piece, a while ago about the high we get when we give. Focusing on service has always been a draw for me to Native American culture. I truly believe we are here to take care of Mother Earth and each other. I am grateful to have matured enough to not have everything ‘all about me’, yet not matured enough o know that in some ways, I needed it to be about me. I truly believe that we are gifts to the world; that we are the answer to some ancient ancestor’s prayer, as we were told in a conference in North Dakota, many years ago. I get into trouble when I get all ‘MEMEME’, and I find life flows more easily when I am not focused on Self and my little self problems, needs, wishes, wants. But, in some imperceptible way, without taking anything away from anyone else, begin a gift to myself, has changed my life this last few months. Being focused on being a gift to the world is a gift to our self…and, yet, being a gift to ourselves, knowing we are a gift, is empowering in so many ways.
How do we offer ourselves up to others throughout the day? When one starts to think about it, we do a lot of offering. Sometimes, not doing something is as much giving the gift of ourselves as actually doing something. I could be right, or I can be okay with not being right. I give myself the gift of not creating chaos. I could NOT bite at someone for wronging me and give myself the gift of not being wrong but, also, not being vengeful.
Many of us make Intentions for a month, a week, a day. Perhaps I could change that to what gift I could give myself or others today. I learned a powerful lesson this spring. I learned that NOT to defend myself against someone who was wrong about me empowered me more than defending myself would. I, also gave myself the gift of letting go of someone who drug me down, constantly. I gave myself a gift of peace, of taking a mountain off my back. I gave myself, then, the gift of nurturing myself and I have continued to find ways to gift myself words and phrases of support and comfort that I did not need anyone else to give me, for it would never have meant as much. I cherish myself more. The gift keeps giving because I am finding ways to empower my own self. I have needed that. I was nearly sucked dry with giving. I am raising myself up, on my own, and it has been an exercise of great love so that I CAN be of authentic service to others, to the world. I learned not to totally give too much of myself out to others and leave nothing for myself.
There is something empowering, really empowering, about giving service to oneself, to be nurturing and compassionate, and treating oneself like one’s own beloved. We, then, do not need to try to get it from outside ourselves. We become more whole, and, yes, there is a high to it…a beautiful, wonderful, deep and abiding sense of self-love that makes us able to walk out into the world as a gift of a woman who believes and loves herself. Consider it and do it. It is wonderful.
©Carol Desjarlais 15.10.20
***Art done With Eris Klein
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