This new way of being is wearing us down, I am sure. We are trying to find personal ways of being in this pandemic. Our world has changed. We have been forced to change to meet those changes. No matter how long this last, there will be some changes that dissipate, but some changes will stay. How do we know what to let go and what to keep?
They way we coped before this is not working. So many can not sustain this isolation and, yes, for some, fear. We are finding gems within; gems of needs and new kinds of challenges, but, also, some kind of fragments of hope, of volition, of strategies that are new to us in coping with this thing we know so little of. We are finding out what we can adapt to, what we drag our feet about, and some may feel anger and move towards conspiracy theories that express how much more vulnerable than we really are. How we cope and care for ourselves is paramount. I refuse fear. I dream of summer and summer flowers and summer freedoms and I look forward and keep my eye on that rather than slump like last summer’s flowers into lost hope and positive growth. Now is the season for growing within.
No matter your view on the pandemic, please take care of you and yours. Go and do what needs doing and then go to the safety of your home. Do whatever it takes to cope with this new way of being. Do not deny that you are feeling anxious, stressed, rebellious, distressed. Such big changes beg for big kinds of coping. We are not in control, and when human beings feel that they are not in control, it is easy to feel angry and acceptance and surrender is difficult for most of us. We do not know when this will end, or if it will. We do not know what the ‘new normal’ is going to be when it does. All we can do is stay present, take care of ourselves and ours, and try not to let yesterday’s burdens fall into our today and tomorrow. I try to distract myself with art, then another project, and refuse to let myself get bored. Boredom is dangerous right now. I try to stay connected, especially with one lose friend, and we may go out for coffee or stop in on each other and we have had such good long talks like we have not before. I have my field trips that have now ended and so I am looking towards finding something else to do that keeps me connected outside the home. I am expecting my daughter and granddaughter for a week and I am already looking forward to having two single brothers coming for Christmas. Little things mean a lot.
In the end of all this, what will stay long after Covid dissipates is that we have some kind of hope, some kind of gratitude, some kind of faith that has helped us get through. We are resilient beings. That has to remain. I am working on that, as well.
©Carol Desjarlais 29.10.20
I did this painting and left it for days because I was so worried about the hair. Then, Annette Gutierrez suggested doing something different by adding things like gems, etc. It sparked my imagination and here she is.
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