Wednesday, July 8, 2020

The Blurring Loop Of Days






Every day is becoming blurred and blended.  Violence, racism, destruction, pandemic, deaths, and natural phenomena is on the rise.  We are fanatic about keeping safe in every area of our lives.  Trust is broken and broken again and again.  Life and being Present is confusing, anxiety-ridden, and we find no real respite.  How can this all not affect us body, mind, heart and soul?

I have a compromised immune system, in fact, I think most of us do, in some way.  We have to eat, rest, clan and keep ourselves safe, no matter the deniers.  Many of us have bad habits and this ups our chances of becoming ill.  We know there are huge stressors out there and it seems to be sustained with all the bad news out there in the world.  Our sugars are high from binging on comfort food that cannot comfort us.  Our blood pressure heightens with every traveling out to food stores, to drugstores, to appointments, etc.  Many of us do not get enough outside exercise and so our sleep patterns are disturbed.  Our social interactions are curtailed and we are meant to be social beings.  We are bored and feel blah and are not using this time to research, to become better informed (not conspiracy theories as all they do is ad more stressors).  We have lost our structure in our days.  In fact, many have lost joy in life.  

Trying to stay present is a challenge.  The Present is uncomfortable.  We are being forced to stay withdrawn and this goes against our nature.  We are having to be flexible, to change the way we do things and who we do them with.  Every foray out into the world is fraught with angst.  It is a challenge to find things we CAN do amidst the many ways we are not able.  We do not know outcomes; if it is all going to get worse, or when it will end, if it will end, how life will be once we do get through this.  And, everyone seems to be an ‘expert’ and have so many ways they think we should live and live through this.  They are not being kind, at all, in fact, they tend to be cruel.  They are not keeping us safe, never mind themselves.  It is hard not to judge.  More than ever, we are seriously having to focus on ourselves and taking care of Self in order to get through this with some sense of care. The old normal may never be the new normal.  There is no sense in worrying about what we cannot guess at.  

The racial tension is the elephant in the room.  We can only examine why, what, where, when we might have caused some issues to be embedded.  There is inequality.  Admit it.  And, so many are falling into a bitterness that does not allow for compassion.  In all the angst, there lies this crowding sense that we may not have been aware of true history, true beginnings, true reckoning that we had simply let it be or let it go and thought only of progression, greed, and a sense of privilege.  We can no longer do that and have any peace of mind.  There will be chaos until we all change our mindset.  When the feelings come, label them, acknowledge them, and recognize our own part in all of it.  It is the only way to personal peace that has a chance to seep into society as we know it today.  

No matter what we do, thoughts will come.  No matter how hard we try to keep a mental balance, negativity will come.  It is life, after all.  To not feel, to not give thought to how we can change ourselves and our Present and presence, is to sink into the apathy that created so much of this chaos as it is.  Yes, life will loop on and on.  

 Yes, our changes must loop again and again until we, ourselves, find a new norm. 
May your days be filled with things that you are passionate about.  May we all stay Present, thoughtful, and willing to change.  Peace be upon us, not boredom nor restlessness, nor defiance nor defensiveness.  That only gives us chaos rather than compassion for self and others.  This is a global agenda right now.  This is a personal agenda.  

 Do not let your days blur one into another.  Do something with yourself. 

©Carol Desjarlais 7.8.20

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